iamwoman's story

trying to move on..

hello everyone, im new to this.. i guess my story is no different than most of the young women on here, my NC was abusive in every possible.. we were together for about 4 years the beggining was of course great we moved very quickly, were living together about a year into dating i was madly in love with him. He was the most passionate and affectionate man i ever dated..then the abuse started i would never know what mood he was in, he iscolated me from all [my friends and family it happened so fast i thought he really loved me. he would yell to the top of his lungs i became scared of him, i was always wrong. He began to physically abuse me once it got so bad he broke my collar bone and of course i took him back, (STUPID) i really thought i could help him. The highs were great but the lows were really low..he was so verbally abusive he made me hate myself, calling me ugly and worthless i believed him. Now the relationship is over he broke up with me saying he cant do it anymore because i caught him calling a girl on the phone that i payed for. I begged for him back like an idiot but hes totally ignoring me..After a week of begging i stopped calling and texting all together its been almost 2 months. Even after all he put me through why am i sad?? im 25 years old very pretty great job great body why am i so depressed? y cant i get over him he treated me like shit..i just want this feeling to go away i know in my heart he will always disrespect me it just hurts..