tryingtorecover I totally understand and remember those awful obsessive thoughts!!
Actually I'm sure many here understand and remember all to well.

The day I joined this site is when I went NC with my exN. I had enough of his lies and manipulation. It was very hard to do and like you I obsessed over him and what he was doing. I even posted about my obsessive thoughts, too.

My point is in the beginning I think it is normal to have these thoughts. You are just beginning the healing process. The pain and fear of the unknown (what lies ahead) makes us gravitate back to all what is familiar and comfortable. The pain hurts so much that it seems easier to block out all the bad and obsess.

This is when it is so tough to be strong. I remember exactly how you are feeling at this very moment. I PROMISE you if you just take baby steps, read all you can, and stay close to us on this site it will get better!!!

I have made a lot of progress since I joined. But that is only because I listened and did the work that everyone on this site told me I needed to do to get my life back. Goldie, the mods, and all the members will support you on your journey. You will have good days and bad days but eventually you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The fog is lifting a little more each day. I have worked hard and I am now seeing the pay off to the commitment I made to ME!! Trust the veterans who have walked before you. Read their posts because they are proof that you WILL get your power and life back as you so deserve!!! I am so thankful that I pushed myself many times to take one more little baby step forward.

You WILL get to that place where you are content and happy without your exN. Please be patient and it will come!!

We are all here for you!!

Hugs

LoserFree

Sorry but that's not going to happen ...

Read, read ,read ,read,

18 months of complete NC will set you free..

I recommend you follow the rules..Ask Indenial what happens if you don't..

Round, and round.. Feel it.. Soon it will pass..

Hunter