When I first got together mith my ex narc.he told me he had a son by his first girlfiriend. He said how saddened he was that the childs mother would not allow him any contact and now they had moved he had no idea how to contact him.
I offered to help him look. UK is not such a big place and I reckoned we could find him in no time at all. He hadn't seen the boy in ten years and I really wanted to help this man whom I loved so much.
About a month later his Mother phoned to tell my ex that this boy( his son) had turned up on her doorstep and introduced himself as her grandson.Apparently he lived about 1/2 a mile from her house! Well my ex was overcome with joy ( or so it seemed at the time)
He duly went to visit and this boy regualy phone our house for a chat. However this soon began to peter out( probably due to my ex not contacting him)
It was about this time that my ex narcs. Mom phoned and told me to be carefull! Her son never stuck around for long and said he was " complicated".
In due course our relationship ended and I'd say I suffered bably for about 18 months.
Fast forward, he got back with his ex wife who'm he'd never divorced. They were separated about 4 years when I met him.
She came over to visit UK and thei.r relationship rekindled and they had a child together.Well it doesn't take an expert to guess that acouple of years later he walked out of thier lives and has never had contact since.
What's troubling me now , is that my friend/neighbour is persuing the most narcissistic man I've ever met. He too doesn't see his childre( his wife is in the secret service, if you can beleive that!)She wont listen to my advice re. jumping into a relationship with a man who is too good to be true. I've been shown his facebook page and it shows a complete idiot , posing with models, fast cars, minor celebrities. He talks bout himself in the third person. I'm afraid that she's going to end up like the wreck I once was.

I have one daughter with my ex. She is 8 yrs old now. She was becoming used to seeing her dad drunk and passed out on the sofa day after day. She was always being promised things and he never showed up. He would phone me every day at work they were together alone to "speak to your daughter because she is being unreasonable". She was beginning to have pent up anger and it came out in her play and how she was speaking to people. The week before we left was the worst for her. He did not pick her up from school and she waited with another kid's dad for almost an hour and a half. She called his work and he didn't show up that day and then she called my parents who live 2 blocks from the school. She was so upset and angry. He didn't come home until 10pm and blamed her for the whole thing. Two days later was the VERY LAST straw for her and for me. He had signed up to be a chaperone for the big end of school trip (only because it was a status thing with other dads). He did not come home that night (not uncommon!) and showed up as we were walking out the door. She started screaming at him and said "if you sign up you had better be responsible and show up!" This was my 8 yr old telling her father to be responsible!!! He blamed me of course but she just yelled at him. I knew then that I had to get her out. I owed it to her then and to her future. We left three days later. That was a month ago and he has seen her twice. Both times she asked to come home early. I can only pray that it continues to be even less. We are very open about why we left and I encourage her to be honest about her feelings. She is so much more relaxed now and is doing excellent.

I wish mine would move far far away. dealing with his daily antics with our children tires me. He basically sat on couch drinking beer unless he was coaching their soccer teams which could be brutal for everyone. now he is Disney Dad. All of a sudden interested in their lifes. Where was he all those years? Uninvolved. Now he is father of the year. I am hoping he does leave but I know he enjoys driving a wedge between me and our kids too much to leave

God I (we) should be so lucky for him to find supply FAR FAR FAR away. I would dance everyday for years...

But, given that he is essentially so lazy that he "found" new OW and her own 2 daughters within days/weeks of leaving me and HIS OWN daughter...I don't see it happeneing any time soon.

HE completely uses her daughters, as well as his own, to build his image as a GREAT GUY AND FAMILY MAN.

Irony how he would not expand OUR own family when I really wanted more kids...fought it every possible way. And, he has been an ok dad in the sense of not outwardly abandoning her. YET...he NEVER PARENTS her, she is as good as a sibling to him (in many ways she is more mature than him at age 12)...He never worries about her, plans for her, makes any real effort to guide her morally, ethically, spiritually - NADA...cuz he can't.

Last week, even she said, "dad buys what he wants for himself, and anything I want, he puts off". True. She gets it.

Although I do not have children with XN (whom is childless), I do have a daughter from the previous marriage. XN and I lived together for 5 years and my daughter looked up to him like a father. He treated her so well in the beginning like she was his own. She trusted and loved him to pieces.

When he started to mistreat me, her attitude towards him changed. As the abuse worsened over the years, my daughter withdrew from him. Near the end, she had completely withdrawn. He hated that and mentioned it many times to me, but there was no convincing him that it was his erratic behavior causing her to withdraw. She and I would discuss it, but she'd not dare talk to him about it out of fear he'd take it out on me.

He most definitely got a high from her adoration. Not only was it coming from her, but others, including myself, would give him praise on how well they got along. When that started to wane it messed with his ego big time.

Now he lives with some other woman who has 4 children. He's playing "super dad" taking them to all of their after school functions and what not. He's getting tons of praise, I'm sure, and is eating it up. If he got so bent out of shape over my one daughter losing respect for him, I can't imagine how he's going to react when these 4 children eventually do the same.

eta: Forgot to mention XN gave my daughter a job at his restaurant. Out of guilt? Yeah right. He was hoovering me and wanted to prove to others he's not such a bad guy. *eyeroll* He used to try to chat her up and slip in questions about what I'm up to, but now that he has a GF he doesn't talk to her at all.