The Never Changing Patterns of the Narc

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#1 Jul 8 - 12PM
missymiller
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The Never Changing Patterns of the Narc

The exnarch I divorced earlier this year was - if anything - a victim to his own set, predictable patterns. From his daily workouts, to constantly washing his car, to his rigid and narrow food palette, to his primary hobby (watching and going to movies - constantly), to his "job" that he will never change (even though he was always complaining about it and said he wanted to move on from).

I know Valkin and others talk about their boredom and hate of routine. In my case, however, I sensed his anxiety and perhaps bordom of "our life"...in general. But, his patterns and routine of his life was really somehting he desperatly needed to feel calm...yet I think projected his dissatisfaction on me, us and our life.

The reason I'm wondering about this is in the past month, he has taken OW, her daughters and my d12 to the SAME places (on two different smallish vacations) to the very places we went to as a family. This alone, was a painful experience for my daughter to be a part of. They went to the same restaurants we did, the same hotels, the same "experience" - different set of players.

The irony of these vacation places, is that "I" am the person who introduced them into our life/family experience. That was the case too with nearly all things in our life. I am the person who added to our life new things...big impact things/decisions and small things too. So now, he is taking his "new family" to these very spots.

I rolled my eyes when I heard about it all because its really so pathetic. But is he just not "adventurous" or really just can't take initiative (as I usually attributed it to all those years)? Or is this a trait of the narc? Have others experienced this too?

Jul 9 - 8AM
survivaloftheheart
survivaloftheheart's picture

another narc trait

Jul 8 - 2PM
Deidre99
Deidre99's picture

Sometimes, I think this type

Jul 8 - 12PM
Rising Dawn
Rising Dawn's picture

The like to mirror

Jul 8 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
owenjohnston
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i saw a video of mine on