Unfriended by a mutual friend

Unfriended by a mutual friend
Posted July 1, 2012 - 7:01pm
0

Go on FB today (I only check my page about 1x a week)
and just happened to notice that one of xN's friends has "unfriended" me...
I won't go into details again (this is in my share you story) but xN unfriended me while we were still together, during one of the many D&D.

I shouldn't care about this. I don't want to care.
But it looks as if might.

Even more ironic, I have known this so called "friend" much longer than this friend has been friends with xN. I actually have known this person for almost 30 years (about as long as I have known xN). Funny thing is she is an alcoholic and she didn't even remember knowing me from before...even though she was a close friend and teammate of one my other X's.

hmmph.

‹ Freedom How far will one go for self preservation? ›
rosedewittbukater's picture

Thank you everyone

July 5, 2012 - 9:28pm — rosedewittbukater

for your words of wisdom, especially lessonlearned.
You asked two very good questions, and I cannot come up with two good answers, so I will ignore it like it never even happened.
Though, I will say this gal (the alcoholic) is deep down a really good person. I know she has a problem and I know that the source of her problems are. She is dealing with alot of pain in her life from wounds she suffered many years ago. I don't have the heart to block her. She never once was anything but sincere and kind to me. I honestly now think that this was something my xN told her to do *probably coerced her into doing* during one of their mini-benders as I call them. Because my Xn is very FB savvy and probably didn't want to see any of my posts on this mutual friends page, so she told her "block the bitch!" Hell, she may have been just drunk and accidentally deleted me not even realizing what she had done.
This broad isn't one of the most technologically savvy ladies out there.
I'm not going to sweat it.

But a big huge thank you for all the support and comments.

Redhead's picture

yes....I've hd that happen to

July 2, 2012 - 7:51pm — Redhead

yes....I've hd that happen to me too. Block the stupid bitch

lessonlearned's picture

forgive my bluntness

July 2, 2012 - 9:14am — lessonlearned

but WHY, exactly, would you want to remain "friends" with someone who:

1. chooses exN over you?
2. is an alcoholic who can't even remember how long you've known one another?

make yourself a 4th of july resolution to only have "friends" who are healthy & sane. it will improve your quality of life dramatically, trust me!!!

insectt's picture

I agree!

July 2, 2012 - 10:56am — insectt (not verified)

And adding on to what Diedre and D. said..FB is soooo fake and dramatic.

I recently deactivated my main FaceBook acount and created a new one. I have 16 REAL LIFE friends/family on it.....there is ZERO drama and attention updates. It's all about our very persinal lives, kids, family or with my coworkers..frustrations at work. And important things like someone having a baby. FB is like Guns, it's not the existance of it that makes it evil, it's how people use it that makes it evil.

Used's picture

rose

July 2, 2012 - 4:40am — Used

Dont get Upset...get even, BLOCK HER....
You dont need this kind of crap and games in your life...
To get upset by this ,if you block her she wont be able to come back with feeble excuses and Then she will do it again...
take your power back from these LOSERS....
I have been derfriended twice, I blocked them immediatly...
They both messaged my other friends and asked them to ask me to unblock and accept them back.....I said NO!!!!

BtrflyGrl's picture

Facebook Sucks

July 1, 2012 - 10:01pm — BtrflyGrl

Honestly, I don't want to hear about everybodys daily business on their FB page. Most people seem to use it to make themselves look like their lives are so wonderful. They are full of it. 145 friends my ass. Through a party and see how many of them show up! Sorry, I'm a total FB hater and that was one of the many reasons ExN broke up with me. Cuz I don't like Facebook. Wahhh

Deidre99's picture

I find FB to be so

July 1, 2012 - 8:02pm — Deidre99

I find FB to be so disingenuous, fake, mean spirited at times, etc. I deactivated my page before the narc came into play, a few years ago, now, and haven't regretted it.

When I had it active, I enjoyed catching up with college friends, etc. Beyond that, I saw it as a tool for drama and people playing games with one another.

I do 'get' the premise behind it, and it can be a good tool to keep up with people.

But, it seems that more often than not, it is a tool that BREEDS narcissism. ''Hey everyone, I wore a blue shirt today!'' And that person gets 20 'likes.'

lol

Seems like FB breeds a lot of false praise, I dunno.

Just my take on it.

To your situation, I would not think a lot about it. FB breeds this type of catty behavior. I would just move on.

I especially don't like the 'elite factor' it gives off...'Oh, YOOOUUU are no longer worthy to be on MYYYY friends list.''

Give me a fucking break.

Good riddens! lol

Hugs!

d. talks's picture

I agree!

July 2, 2012 - 6:28am — d. talks

fb is just awful. a narc breeding ground, and a distraction from what is really happening--big time, important shit!--in the world.

I deactivated my account as a new year's resolution, and I'm so glad I did. I'm through with that fake, self-absorbed image mill! plus, it's just that much easier to stay completely NC... RDB, you're doing great. take it for what it is--self-important bullshit. good riddance is right! :)

and diedre99, your words always shoot so straight. I always benefit from your insights. thanks!

LindsayM's picture

Facebook

July 1, 2012 - 8:18pm — LindsayM

Facebook is kinda Narc territory if you ask me ( I think someone actually mentioned that on here once) oh I am sick let me post about it...... I wouldn't take Facebook seriously.