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3 years on
June 29, 2012 - 11:16pm — alarmbelleI am still in shock at times. Learning about the terrible disorder THEY have saved my sanity. Even now after so long I doubt myself. They are so unbelievable, it is so soothing to be part of this forum. I often have nowhere else to turn. Those who have not been bitten by a N think we're crazy to DWELL on what they did. I praise the day I found out about NPD
VERY NORMAL
June 29, 2012 - 9:37am — neverlookbackIt was a trauma and that takes a long time to heal from - I am out a year and I STILL am in shock to the animal I was with - what psychopaths do will always shock me, and it should because it means I am healthy again and his behavior is horrifying to me - THe personal shock of what he did to me is starting to heal - but I will always be shocked that they can do what they do and pretend they are human when they really arent - Its an interesting disorder to study but HELL if one has been in your life x0
Human beings were never
June 29, 2012 - 9:16am — Deidre99Human beings were never intended to be 'used.' Like a dish rag, or a chair to sit on.
To me, that was the hardest thing to get past. It is the one thing that made me the saddest and angriest. And he has used women AFTER me, and while that helped to know it wasn't a personal thing, knowing I was used, hurts.
I'm way beyond it now. But, perhaps, that is why you are still in shock. It's a painful thing to come to terms with...and to realize, it was not you who was in the wrong. As he'd like you to believe. He left because he was done 'using' you.
And when you realize that that is the crux of the disorder. That they don't view people as anything more than another object at their disposal, then, the shock will eventually wear off.
Just my experience with it. I broke up with my ex N. But, the same end result occured. I broke up with him, because I knew I was just being used. The way he treated me, and had no respect for me...I realized this wasn't about love, or a having a relationship with potential for a future. This was nothing more than a con man, feigning love, to gain control over me. To play sick twisted mind games with...and laugh at me...and hurt me.
There is evil all around us. The devil is alive and well, I learned from my experience(s) with narcs.
Testify
June 30, 2012 - 12:17am — OvercomingI have danced with the devil many times before being raped by my father at 10 and my mother marrying a NR. at 12. I refuse to continue to be victimized, Im fighting for my sanity and life. I love this mental fool, miss his passion. But I must stand my ground, I dont miss the lies and deception.
blondelover
June 29, 2012 - 6:56am — onwithmylifeYES AND YES, it took me 3 years to get over the asshole, it is a nightmare un like any other breakup you will ever have, I was so stunned that he took off to another state even as we talked about us moving together, that is when I started reading everything I could get my hands on and went to therapy, hope you are doing just that, that and some good friends here on the board and in person got me through it all.. you will too, give it time.......!
Over a year for me
June 29, 2012 - 3:07am — moxie pepperIt's been since June 5, 2011 when I walked away from him....in total shock. To the point I don't remember the next 3 months of my life. I finally made my way to a psychologist in Sept after I started panicking at the littlest things. He diagnosed me with PTSD as did 2 subsequent therapists (I'm on my third shrink now and she is the one I finally clicked with).
I have no memory past a certain point that day. Don't even know how I got home. Blanks. I have even considered hypnotism to get 3 months of my life back that are dark.
The shock was overwhelming. WHen you find out that is was all lies, all an illusion, it screws with your head and you may not even know it. I'm so sorry, I wish I could wave a magic wand for all of us to feel better.
Yes, BL I think so
June 29, 2012 - 12:36am — shock and awe.someIt's been 6 months for me. We were going to spend the rest of our lives 2gether. We were kind to each other....no drama.....no surprises. I felt he was it. Then BAM! I couldn't go to be w him in Florida for the winter due to business. He did the D&D on me 2 weeks b 4 I was coming to spend the winter with him. I still struggle with it. I'm not easily taken in, but he really conned me. it pisses me off & breaks me at the same time. I don't want him back but I don't think I will ever have a love like that again
I was in shock.....
June 29, 2012 - 1:43am — LindsayMIt was a huge,huge,huge,huge shock when I found out my ex was cheating on me and shacking up with someone talk about a shock to the system ouch......I read self-help books and eventually came to this wonderful place and now I am no longer in shock the shock wore off I mean obviously it is something I will never forget about but it is something I try not to dwell because he is pathetic person and I should be thankful he is out of my life if that makes sense but I also figured out I am not ready to date anyone either I still have a long,long,long way to go once you get that " shock" to your system it's really,really hard to toss yourself back into the dating pool I tried but then I realized nope not ready not healed. Shocks to the systems are brutal and each person heals in their own little ways so do not be hard on yourself!
time
June 29, 2012 - 2:02am — OvercomingTime heals all wounds and Ive spent eight years on this idot thinking and believing it was love. There was nothing I didnt experience even threats on my life from him and his ex women. I'm done after educating myself on what I'm exactly dealing with. He is going to have to kill me inorder to ever control me again.