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Karma and Amends
MeeMee72
Member since:
50 weeks 1 day
50 weeks 1 day
Last activity:
3 weeks 4 days
3 weeks 4 days
Karma and Amends
Posted June 23, 2012 - 12:00pm
My story is like so many others here. The man I knew left me in pieces and it took a lot of work to put myself back together again. This site was a huge help.long story short I dated a man who was cruel and at one point he laughed when he knew I was in pain at his behavior. I ended contact when I found out about the gf. I knew he was having a hell of a good time great job, money, gf. While I was in such agony he was living the life. Now he is trying to make amends. Doing the 12 step thing. Sorry for the pain he caused. He lost his job.He's humbled, he's losing his gf. He loves her.he always cared deeply about me and I understand what hes going through he says.He wants to be a good spouse and husband. He says he is tired of hurting women and he is breaking down. Oh and he says I can interact with him any way I want if I want. Like I would want to. So karma really does kick in. And no, he didn't treat the ow any differently then with me. The label was different but same shit, the great string along. He says he has changed. Textbook.I won't lie it hurt to hear some of it, but is what is love to these assholes? I told him about my life and my boyfriend, how happy I was, and that i.'m sure everything would work out for him. He said he would do whatever he could to help me get over the pain he caused. Ha. Still trying to control whoever he can. Still trying to use me for comfort. I am almost at indifference but I still felt manipulated. I started to have hope then I called my therapist and set myself straight. So nothing changes, the grass is not greener, karma kicks in big time, and they really are sick sick sick. Thank you to all of you kind people who share the tools to be able to walk away from these sick people. Thank you for the advice and your stories and the compassion.
© E. Scott Enterprises | Lisa E. Scott
We are not certified mental health professionals and this site and message board is in no way a replacement for professional therapy, legal or medical advice.
You need to not be in contact
June 23, 2012 - 12:37pm — Deidre99You need to not be in contact with this man, anymore. Block him from being able to contact you, everywhere....email, text, etc.
If he 'changes,' good for him. It has nothing to do with you, anymore.
Pray and wish him well, but I would be done communicating. It will only hurt you in the end.
And most likely, this is just another stunt to keep stringing you along. They are creative. Their lies are creative and convincing.
Unless I actually heard and saw an eye witness account of the guy going through therapy, I wouldn't believe one single word of what he says.
He's ringing you up because the gf wised up and is leaving him. lol
Trust me, that's his reason. How he flatters himself...oh, let me help you get over the pain I caused you. hahaha As if you are some ship wrecked on the side of a deserted island. lol
Please, for your own sake, find a way to block this man at every opening. If he changes, awesome for him. But, you need to move on ....
Chances are. He hasn't changed. And he's just looking to use you again.
Sorry, but that's the most likely the ugly truth of it.
thank you deidre
June 23, 2012 - 12:57pm — MeeMee72Yes, yes yes. Email and phone are blocked and he called me at work. And I should not have spoken to him. This is what I love about this site, the support and honesty after so many lies and deceit. Contact is pain.
That's how I know now, he has
June 23, 2012 - 1:39pm — Deidre99That's how I know now, he has NOT changed. A normal, well adjusted person would respect your newfound boundaries. Gee, she blocked my phone number and email...I should stop contacting her, even though it hurts, and I miss her, I should respect her.
Nope. They find another means to 'get through,' cuz it's always always always all about them.
He has not changed. And he is not looking for you to rescue him, either, as the other member here suggests.
HE'S LOOKING TO USE YOU CUZ HE'S LOW ON PEOPLE TO USE, SINCE HIS GF WISED UP AND IS LEAVING HIM.
That's it.
They are vultures, circling back around to gnaw some more meat off the carcass they left behind. As if you are still sitting around, waiting for that? hahaha
He's an ass. 12 step program my ass. He isn't doing anything. Trust me. It's all bullshit, and it's just a fishing lure to get you to buy into his nonsense again...to most likely sleep with you...and throw you away, all over again.
It is very hard to accept that what we are dealing with, can be this sinister. But, when you do accept it completely, someday...you will never ever want to hear one more word out of this man's mouth...for it's all lies. All trickery.
Can people change? Can a narcissist change? VERY VERY HARD for them to change. Barring really bowing down before God, asking for His forgiveness, and really wishing to follow Him...I don't believe they will ever change.
Him contacting you at work, when he realized all other avenues were blocked, shows me...HE HAS NOT AND WILL NOT CHANGE.
And having blocked him, you understand the importance of NC, and you therefore understand, that him chasing you down like this...IS NOT FLATTERY. IT'S NOT FLATTERY.
I REPEAT...IT'S NOT FLATTERY. I say this moreso for the other members here, who are new to NC, or struggling with it.
When you build a tall fence, to keep someone out, and that someone flies a helicopter OVER THE FENCE to get to you...THAT IS NOT FLATTERY. That is a violation of your boundaries. And it's all about them.
It's called trespassing, in real estate terms. lol
Stay strong...I say all this out of charity and love for you, as a member here. It just doesn't pay to paint these people in a better light, for we will only fall prey to them again. ((hugs))
exactly
June 23, 2012 - 2:20pm — MeeMee72And that's just it. Since I've met him, his pain, his work, his problems. Sinister is the perfect word. So is evil, and manipulative. And a few others lol.
I'm glad you are walking the
June 23, 2012 - 4:36pm — Deidre99I'm glad you are walking the walk, meemee, I hope that you continue to stay strong ....it's hard, we all know.
I personally found it hard to think of someone, another human being, as being so sinister. But, truth is...these types do exist.
Have a great weekend! :)
amen...
June 23, 2012 - 12:50pm — midwestdivaI agree he needs you to rescue him, run like a bat outta hell because if you don't you will hurt all over again...