owenjohnston's story - part 4

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#1 Jun 21 - 1PM
owenjohnston
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owenjohnston's story - part 4

Part 4: The end & The healing process

When it was approaching our 2 year anniversary, the N wanted to go to England to see his "friend" who was one of the ones he had sexted. I messaged this person on Facebook to make it clear that the N was my boyfriend, which made both of them angry.

They texted back and forth - at least 100 texts a day before they met. When the N got back (after me being paranoid for 2 days about what they were up to) he told me that they had stayed in a hotel room together but in separate beds and they drank wine but he didn't cheat but almost did. He also stressed that it wasn't a 1 time only thing and that the guy from England would be visiting him but I couldn't be there because he needed time apart from me to have a life. This was just too much for me. I was on edge all the time, going to therapy, going to my doctor to check blood pressure etc. I felt like I would end up dying of a heart attack at 22.

I had a cold when the N got back so he said he wouldn't kiss me in case he got sick. He was then extremely distant with me and a week before our 2 year anniversary, when I was at my parents he broke up with me by text. I kept trying to phone him and he kept disconnecting me and telling me to "stop it". So he got his wish, as he so often told me he would "trade you in for a younger model". He got some 18 year old virgin who would love him the way I did, all over again.

After sitting up all night talking about everything, he tried to sleep with me and I said NO, he tried to kiss me and I said NO. He wanted to remain friends and I said NO. The next day he left, but he didn't come back for his stuff until the following day, leaving it there in boxes for a whole night for me to look at. Then when he had everything packed in the car he kept being about to leave, then saying "No I can't", then going. He couldn't even say something nice when he left, quoting instead (as he usually did from movies or TV shows) from the TV show Friends, telling me that I was a "strong and confident woman who didn't need to smoke" (a joke from one of the episodes), which didn't even apply to the situation.

I was left on my own, on a £1000 a month salary with £550 a month rent, then heating, electric, phone, internet, food and maintenance costs, I have barely enough each month after this to actually go out with friends. To make matters worse, it was a week before our 2 year anniversary and 10 days before my Birthday (which I spent alone and had to use birthday money from parents to buy things he had taken with him).

I was miserable for a month or so, then broke NC and met him for coffee and brought him back to my (not our) place to watch a movie, thinking that I would get a reaction from him. I got nothing. When I texted him for the first time in a month as an invitation to meet (I was desperate), instead of saying how nice it was to hear from me, he wrote a long text complaining about everything in his life.

He had then told me how he had a boyfriend (after we had met again) so I realised I couldn't get him back and told him I wanted nothing more to do with him, so he got mail and DVDs delivered to my address "By mistake" so that I would have to meet him to give them to him, but instead I left them by the bins outside. This is 10 months later now and still he gets the odd letter sent here, which I put straight in the bin.

To my knowledge he left me for someone and after a week left them for someone that he has now been with for 10 months. There's a part of me that has always worried that he would change for this guy, or that this guy would make him happy so he wouldn't need to cheat.

But thanks to finding this site and finally putting the puzzle together, I realise that will never happen and that I have people on here who I can support and talk to :)

(Thank you to anyone who read my story - I left LOTS out because there wouldn't have been time, but if it helped anyone then I guess it was worth it)

Jun 21 - 1PM
Rising Dawn
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All I can say is

Jun 21 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
owenjohnston
owenjohnston's picture

Thanks and don't worry, I

Jun 21 - 9PM (Reply to #3)
petite7heaven
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He is so mixed up!