My sons and I have been working so hard to get our stuff ready to move and get the house ready to sell. We are very excited for our new adventure, and we are confident (most of the time) that a happy, loving and joyful life is ahead of us! I am recovering slowly from quite very near death..yay!! I understand and accept my part in the psychodrama that was my life..thank god! I believe, like a recovering addict, I will always be tempted by that old life...but at least now I know why and I am aware and I can now protect myself.
My psychopath sister recently returned to the US and has been hoovering (I have been NC with her for 4 years, well before the exN boyfriend). My N father has been very supportive of me throughout my recovery from the exN boyfriend and my very soon to be ex-husband - who I am now beginning to wonder if he is a somatic N, but that's another long story. Since I have been very near suicidal, my father has finally come to my rescue....makes him and his N wife look like heroes to be my saviors. I'm positive when I am back on my feet they will D&D me again. Anyway, since my sister has been hoovering, my father has been trying to get me to have contact with her..he is upset with me for choosing to stay NC..it's making me feel guilty to disappoint him, and I have to admit sometimes I want to cave..she's my sister.
I found a note she wrote to me before our last totally fucked up drama..you will find it amusing and sad at the same time:
"I just thought I shouldn't you knownhow important you are to me and how truly and deeply I love you. Knowing you are out there somehownhelps me get through so many long days - I have been blessed by God having you, not only in my life, but as my sister. I think you'll never really known what you mean to me.unwound you understand if I said that I feel soncompletely connected to you that we are each other? Probably not. Thank you for just being you - and me. You have helped me realize that you are the person I was born to love forever - my harbor where I will be forever home, wherever I am. With more than love, K"
This is the sister who played puppet master with our family for 20 years. Who isolated me from my brother, father and mother for 20 years with her lies and crazy making. Then tried to destroy my life, my brothers life and the lives of our children with her lies and, well you know the drill.
Thanks for reading. I really felt I wanted to share this with you guys since you are the only ones who understand. The good new is that the relationships with my family have been repaired..they now know I'm not the crazy one. I know I'm not the crazy one..I'm becoming joyful and happy for the first time in my life. An extremely difficult journey..one I didn't want to take...but, I'm kinda happy I did.