list of things Narc didn't like

list of things Narc didn't like
Posted June 16, 2012 - 6:31pm
0

didn't like or could not tolerate

1. not getting sex whenever he wanted
2. helping or fixing things around the house
3. maintaining the cars
4. what I bought or didn't buy at grocery store
5.how long I took at the grocery store
6.anytime I spent away fom him
7. my job
8. my friends
9. my family
10.my weight
11.the dog sleeping in my room
12.what time I left for work
13. what time I got home from work
14.showing me his paysub
15. me having money
16, me being home with kids when they were younger
17. my interactions with others
18. me closing the door while in bathroom
19. me spending time with my mom when she was dying
20.any gifts i got him
21. driving to get a pizza without a beer in his hand
22, holding his bodily functions(would dig a hole in sand and pee in hole at beach)when drinking at beach
23.me joking with our friends
24.etc etc
.

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Sparrow's picture

Please follow this with a

June 16, 2012 - 6:42pm — Sparrow

Please follow this with a list of things YOU didn't like. I think you will be amazed at the differences. Plus, it will help you to see yourself as. Person with valid thoughts, feelings, emotions, and most importantly, rights to your own voice.

I'm anxious to see your list. :)

Pearl430's picture

ok, here is the list

June 16, 2012 - 7:06pm — Pearl430

list of things I don't like
1. his demands for sex
2. being accused of having an affair
3. being told I must be a lesbian
4 not being able to laugh
5.being asked how much sex will cost him.
6.getting 13 calls or vm in a day by narc
7.getting messages from 14 yr old from Narc
8. Narc driving by my apartment
9. his hairy gross back(mean I know)
10. games he plays with support check
11. chaos and turmuil
12. accusotory tones
13. being told what to do
14. invasion of my personal space
15.being afraid to be out after dark because he could be hiding
16.being followed
17. him turning the kids against me with his crazy talk
18. his invasion of my time with our kids by his constant phone calls
19. etc etc

Jenna H's picture

Pearl430 you made me laugh, thanks!

June 19, 2012 - 10:06pm — Jenna H

I'm digging number 9. his hairy gross back

You need to take the "mean I know" comment off because it sounds like this guy deserves it!

I love your list of the things you do like btw. We all need to focus more on us and less on the narcs like Janie53 says. :)

Janie53's picture

Pearl430

June 16, 2012 - 7:13pm — Janie53

How about a list of things you do like?
Stay true!

Janie

Pearl430's picture

ok

June 17, 2012 - 1:50pm — Pearl430

Things I like
1.the feeling of peace I get when I come home to my apartment
2.getting a good night's sleep without being disturbed
3.buying what I want at grocery store
4.sitting on my porch having a coffee
4.spending time with my daugters
5.driving home from daughters without that feeling of dread
6.talking on the phone whenever I want
7.not having to answer to him
8.being able to get up and use the bathroom at night without being ambushed
9.dancing in my livingroom
10.going for walks
11.hving time for frends
12.staying up late if I want to
13.going to bed early if I want to
14.giving my daughters a view of a strong independent abuse free woman
15.having sopportive friends
16.my job and nice coworkers
17.not having to deal with his abuse
18.sunshine
19.thunderstorms
20.etc etc

rosedewittbukater's picture

Yes yes yes!

June 20, 2012 - 11:01pm — rosedewittbukater

your list is almost exactly like mine! When I read what you wrote about "being able to get a good night's rest without being disturbed" it really hit a nerve!
It took me quite a while - months, actually...to be able to even accept that one. To accept my newfound PEACE.
But wow, when I did, it was sweet.
It is going to be the same for you.
Just look at your other lists and remind yourself not only would you be giving up your "things I like" but going right back into the chaotic drama and insecurity where you now finally have peace!
Keep up the good work sister!
xx, Rose

jennifer's picture

Wow! It's amazing how similar

June 19, 2012 - 8:58pm — jennifer

Wow! It's amazing how similar they all are! I liked your lists. The first list reminded me just how controlling and insecure my NH was. The second list demonstrates how they hijack our lives and we find our actions are no longer from cognitive reasoning but lame attempts at momentary peace. Your final list I rejoice with you in. I too recently left and find the personal freedom intoxicating! I hope all goes well with you and that he finds new distractions and leaves you alone. Cheers to your new life and peace and harmony for you and your daughters!