Feeling Sad....d12 with exhnarc, OW skank and her daughters for big 'family' getaway

Feeling Sad....d12 with exhnarc, OW skank and her daughters for big 'family' getaway
Posted June 16, 2012 - 3:44pm
0

I'm struggling with the first real summer vacation visitation time exhnarc has with my d12. He of course, did not choose to take her somewhere the two of them alone...which daughter hoped for and had anticipated.

Alas, he surprised her with a trip to vegas, OW and her two small daughters. OW said they were planning to "bond"...
Fabulous.

I'm doing pretty well. Making great progress and in general done with HIM, OW and their R, and the sadness of our family ending. I know its best for me and daughter too ultimately.

But since he scooped up brand new family immediately and began playing happy family as soon as he moved out - forcing daughter to play the role - this has been one more trauma I've had to deal with.

Any advise on getting through the next two weeks without daughter...feeling alone, a little lonely and hungering for her?

‹ Working and Coping with the N: Road to Recovery Ex is a narc and now has new gf in office - help! ›
Rinalda's picture

Tough to deal with

June 21, 2012 - 3:50pm — Rinalda

I'm sorry that you have to deal with the aftermath of your relationship and the bs of his new "happy family" scenario. That must be difficult. Dealing with the OW is especially tough (I've been there), especially when she seems to be moving into your territory in a few ways (the ex-loser; her attempt to "bond").

He is still "all about him"--this wasn't the trip your daughter wanted. She will see through that. And as you say, she is ultimately better off with him out of your life.

The fact that he puts on this happy face suggests that he has to seem okay because he's not (they never really are--there is this void they constantly try to fill). A family isn't something you throw together.

You seem strong and have a healthy attitude toward it, though I know it is unsettling. It's natural to miss your daughter. Will you have support "on the ground" so to speak, while she's away? Anyone you can spend time with? Are you in touch with her?

Pearl430's picture

last summer

June 16, 2012 - 6:51pm — Pearl430

Last summer I did not go with him and our daughters on annual 1 wk at beach vacation. Though at the time we were living in the same house we were not together. We fought all the time. I had started going to therapy and had established bondaries which he didn't react good to. The yr before vacation was hell. It consisted of him getting drunk everydy and passing out by 7 pm. Everyone was miserable so I though well if I don't go then maybe it won't be so tense for everyone else and I could have a peaceful wk. It was hard to not be with my kids. I had talked about it with my therapist alot. His advise to me was send them off with a smile and when they call make it sound like you are having the time of your life and you are sooo glad to hear about all the fun they must be having. It was hard I tried to keep busy and made plans with friends. I read, I shopped, I called friends on phone, took the dog for a walk whatever I had to do to keep busy. By Thurs. I was feeling down it was a rainy dreary day and I had a good cry.I am not going to say its easy but some how you wll get thru it.