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The N's Dislikes
Kalorli
Member since:
1 year 6 weeks
1 year 6 weeks
Last activity:
42 weeks 5 days
42 weeks 5 days
The N's Dislikes
Posted June 13, 2012 - 6:40am
I've just been thinking this phrase keeps popping into my head that I need to get out. One of my N's favorite things to say to me was "You know I don't like that". For some of these reasons:
Wearing my hair curly instead of straight
Taking too long to answer a question or explain
Leaving the dishes in the sink
Talking to my ex-husband on the phone about our children
Falling asleep on the couch
Using anything but Tide laundry detergent
My favorite perfume
Defending my children in any way, shape or form
Finding out something from someone else when he thinks I should have told him.
Not realizing he switched conversations in his own head, started talking about something else and my questioning what the hell he was talking about.
Forgetting a load of laundry in the washing machine
Not asking him to go almost anywhere I went.
I'm sure there are many more that are not popping into my head right now. I didn't realize how that one phrase had me under his control, living his life instead of mine. I'm not with him now, yet that phrase still runs through my head when I'm doing things. It's time to break the cycle, I think I'll go buy some Ajax laundry detergent today, wear my favorite perfume and go somewhere by myself without feeling guilty.
Love and hugs,
Kalorli
© E. Scott Enterprises | Lisa E. Scott
We are not certified mental health professionals and this site and message board is in no way a replacement for professional therapy, legal or medical advice.
ughhhhhh mandummies!
June 15, 2012 - 4:28pm — TruthbeginsTodayKalorli,
I hope you are feeling some freedom.While you read this... I hope you are sitting on the couch with your beautiful curly hair, smelling great with a glass of champagne, toasting the fact that there is dish in the sink !
I love this post...it's how it is.You make me feel sane.
p.s. if you nod off while you are reading this post...I'm good with it! I'll assume you are REALLY tired with GOOD reason!
your friend,
Truth
They are all psycho
June 15, 2012 - 4:14pm — blondelover2I coukd not not do the laundry right! He took everything to the dry cleaners even shorts. Underwear had to be folded in a certain way. OMG how coukd I miss that?
Wanna Be
June 14, 2012 - 7:26am — Reason2Believehated to be
Ignored
Dismissed
Criticized
Given different opinion or point of view
Cancelled
Spoken to in firm voice
Challenged
Invited to event that he would not be center of attention
Spending money if it would not get him praise or adoration
Reciprocating invitations
Exercising
Eating healthy
Upstaged
Near me if I was getting attention or focal point of conversation
Talking about anything that was not of interest to him
Doing anything or going anywhere that he knew I really wanted to
Getting up early and enjoying a beautiful day
Paying people back money he owed
Helping people out unless there was an immediate reward
Told he was a whiner,unappreciative,inconsiderate,ungrateful, half empty ,can't get enough ,lying SOB.....that was the end...I was D&Dd shortly thereafter.
Kal, this is yet another testament
June 13, 2012 - 12:08pm — spinningto the beauty and gifts of no contact. No contact = CLARITY.
CLARITY = POWER. CLARITY= FREEDOM FROM CONFUSION. CLARITY = BLISS!
It is amazing what we discover when the fog lifts and when we're no longer under the influence of "scrambled eggs."
Keep up the great work. The lists are powerful tools to keep the forward momentum going.
Love,
(not) spinning. AND IT FEELS GREAT
List sounds framiliar, every
June 13, 2012 - 9:48am — DawnWinsList sounds framiliar, every N has different ways of phrasing that crap!
Defending my children...that was a big thing for my exNH.
Perfume...always had alterior motives when I wore it.
Clothing had to be appropriate as well.....
What I figured out I'm struggling with right now? I don't need to ASK PERMISSION to go places!!!!! I am free to hop in my car and go wherever the heck I like....and I'm still frozen at home because that's all I did for the last 9 years.....I'll have to work on that one!
Amen Ladies!! It's time to
June 13, 2012 - 7:20am — KalorliAmen Ladies!! It's time to live. Thank you!
oh my goodness... what a
June 13, 2012 - 7:08am — tootsgeeoh my goodness... what a wanker... and how very like the ex N I went out with... so many on your list are also on mine.... tossers! AGGHHHHH!!! Lets celebrate our freedom! xx
Remember those phrases, and
June 13, 2012 - 7:02am — SparrowRemember those phrases, and the control he was attempting to have over you. And never allow anyone to manipulate you again.
And never feel guilty about being you. Remember, it is YOU who he wanted to be after all. Wear that fact like a badge.
Enjoy your day of liberation. You deserve it.
Now you're talking Kalorii.
June 13, 2012 - 7:00am — Janie53Now you're talking Kalorii. Time to shift the focus from him to you! Positive and negatives are directions, I'm glad you are choosing positive!
Keep staying true to you; it will yield extraordinary results.
Love Janie
I hung his shirts up in the
June 13, 2012 - 10:39pm — bluegirlI hung his shirts up in the wrong direction. Seriously.
bluegirl
June 14, 2012 - 7:16am — onwithmylifei once put his whites and colors together when I volunteered to do his clothes, he never let me do that again and i usually did not put the dishes in the "correct" way, nutcase.....
OMG!
June 14, 2012 - 7:09am — Reason2BelieveMy XNH had to have his shirts facing left...and white shirts on blue hangers, blue shirts on white hangers. Told him early on to do laundry himself or take to cleaners.
Reason
Oh bluegirl! Funny you should
June 14, 2012 - 6:38am — KalorliOh bluegirl! Funny you should mention that, mine had issues with the kind of hanger I used.
Mine had shirt hanging
June 15, 2012 - 1:47pm — FroglegsMine had shirt hanging issues, too. During the last stretch he told me to not wash and hang his shirts because I could never do it right. Fine with me. He did them. I inspected. There was absolutely no difference. Such a goon.
LOL, in retrospect it is just
June 15, 2012 - 7:09pm — bluegirlLOL, in retrospect it is just so ridiculous! And geez, I hate to think of what would have happened if I put a piece of silverware in the wrong slot.