Can Use Some Encouragement

Can Use Some Encouragement
Posted June 13, 2012 - 1:38pm
0

So I told you all how I had enough and am on my path forward. Ever since that day, he called me and had that woman laughing at me, I have had NC. I feel great about it. I was so surprised that I have not even shed a tear over it. I am really fed up. I blocked him from my cell and from texting me. He calls my home and job, but I won't answer. I have not lost sleep over it or my ability to eat. I'm on my way. I like being in the NC zone. I feel safe and I feel he can't hurt me, if he can't get to me. Yesterday, he kept calling and of course I didn't answer, but he showed up at my house. My son spoke to him and he wanted to speak to me. I told him, I do not wish to speak to him ever again in life (and I mean it). He started telling my son to tell me, he wants his engagement ring back and doesn't want problems. I sent it and gave it back. It meant nothing to me anyway. As he left, he called my house again and my son picks up. My son keeps coming to me with the phone, saying he wants to talk. I refuse. I finally told him, if he continues to harass me, I will get a restraining order and contact his probation officer. He then tells my son, he will call back in a few days when I cool off. Please believe me when I tell you all, I AM DONE! I don't want him, so why did that little bit of contact get me so shook. I had the most sleepless night and I can't stop thinking about him. Not thinking about how I miss him, but thinking about how I want to get over him. He is taking up too much of my "head space" right now and I don't understand why. I'm on the verge of tears right now, but I really don't want to give him that. Will this feeling go away? I didn't even give him a chance to get to say what he wanted, but I still feel manipulated. How the hell did that happen?

‹ Ok, I'm struggling today TRUE NC attempt # ?? ›
SunBlossom's picture

Thank you so much...

June 14, 2012 - 12:33pm — SunBlossom

Janie53: What you said, struck a cord. I do need to cry, but I simply can't. I don't know if it's shock or just plain tired. I try to force myself, but the tears don't come or it is one tear and nothing else. Hopefully, my therapist can get them out of me this Saturday. I totally agree with everything you said to me.

bluegirl: Thank God it's not as hard on my son. He was an absent father for years. My son is just getting to know him, but my son is not very fond of him. My son notices that his father really doesn't care about him. He is only calling my son now to find out what I am doing. I have NC and my son has LC. We both ignore his calls at home. Now that he has the ring, he can't harass me with things left behind. :-)

bluegirl's picture

This has to be terrible for

June 13, 2012 - 10:35pm — bluegirl

This has to be terrible for your son. I assume this is a child you had together? It would probably be a good idea to sit down with your son and explain why you cannot talk to him. There is no need to go into every detail, and he probably saw a lot of it himself, but maybe he will get to a point where he just tell the guy that HE doesn't want his mother to speak to him for her own well-being.

Janie53's picture

SunBlossom

June 13, 2012 - 2:04pm — Janie53

After I definitively knew I was involved with a psychopath, I initiated NC without any hesitation. I felt I understood why he treated me the way he did and I was relieved to move on. He had the problem, not me!

I easily resumed my life as though the relationship never happened. I had my life back. Wrong!
It wasn't until nearly a year later when I was triggered by something, and boy, I was hit hard. I had been in denial for the past year and didn't deal with any of the horrible feelings I had due to my involvement with this man who tried to destroy both me and my family.

I had completely understood the disorder but I didn't understand why I let myself be emotionally raped. I had a lot of work and grieving to do. I can happily say, I am in the best place emotionally I have ever been in life. It took a lot of hard work and commitment to myself, with many, many tears and difficult feelings included.

Cry those tears and you will start to heal. Repressing the loss of any relationship, good or bad, is detrimental to you. If you repress your pain and sadness, the pain will end up controlling you. Feeling is healing and we have to do it to move forward.

Thanks for posting this; I think it will be valuable to a lot of others on the forum.
Stay true to you and let it out!
Janie