has anyone ever noticed you get 2 types: the manipulative narc and the authentic narc?
The reason my ex narc husband was and is still so dangerous is because he is the cool thinking type. (Cerebal narc for sure too) He will always being playing out a role and designing everything he says perfectly to fit appropriately into each moment of his day to day life. he will usually be succesful even if it is not above board or necesarily financially.

the other type and these categories do not also include the dynamics of cerbeal and somatic narcissists.. but the authentic 'I am a bastard" narc, well he is not such a thinker maybe, he is clumsy and more obvious, blatant difficuilt relationships with woman and with there parents absent or or annattentive, outwardly angry most of the time and prone to acts of violance against people or things certainly. They admit they are selfish and will let you down without fail and they may even recognise there own inability to care about you and tell you so. These types know that you will feel sorry for them anyway and take care of them, they possibly dont need to manipulate? (After all if your like me you will be a sucker for the lost needy man who can just about tie his shoe laces by himself.. ;(....)

Both types do this tho, the manipulative narc also feels nothing for you but woe betide he will not tell you this while your supply is adequate. He will continue to secure you as a source giving you all and more (of course only in the begginning) to keep you tuned in and under control.

The authentic narc will give you the rough sex and drink too much and these are the relationships you can leave more quickly as soon as you see this kind of pattern repeating in your life.The more sinister cerebel narc will continue to spin yarns and play the correct cards, being the 'ideal man', right up until... loosing your supply is not a problem to him anymore.

What i i think is the reason i am still fighting the pain of of this years later after as limited contact i can get, is that you have to get pretty clever to spot the manipulative narc.. they are the true energy vampires, steal your inner-light slowly and insidiously. Over time you dont quite see the decay that settles into your life until its too late. They take pleasure for years afterwards finding ways to still hurt you. they love the mind games and unplausable behaviour that thay can get away with...

so i am saying its interesting to me that some men (and woman too) know they are awful like that film "how do you know' where she choose the 'nice' man in the end over the hot famous soccer player who is brilliantly funny part to play becasue he knows he is a total jock and he is what he is he, doesn't hide it, a shallow, self centred narc, but in that he is also nothing frightening or untoward, no secret mission to gain control, just simple honest... "Im a jerk'

so in the past i dumped guys who were jerks, got too rough in the bedroom, or drank too much, or just lazy or miserable with life, but i never experience anything so dangerous as what my ex narc husband is/was.. these cerebal manipuative narcissists are not so hard to spot if you know what your looking for but everyone should know that these pyschopaths... with limited emotions, especialy a capacity to empath, get there thrill, there buzz in life form actually causing harm, from gaining control over another human and taking others peoples light and buzz and killing it dead, on a emotially level. They are jelous and envious and will harbour hatred form unresolved traumas and find a scape goat. and worse they are brilliant liars..

I want to run away from my ex and make a new life but i love my job and refuse for that twat to chase me out of my town. The mind games continue. how shall we be free to live again with such shit in the world walking among us pretending to be like us.. its a disgrace to mankind to have anyone who cant be loving and kind but those who pretend they are when they are incapable, well these scum get my goat propa!

;-/ qing