rubyrage986's story

He left me shortly after he got home from prison

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 5 months. Everything was great up until about 3 weeks ago when his attitude changed towards me. We got into an argument at the movie theatre because i needed totalk to him about something and he responded by saying "there is nothing to talk about" and it made me angry because everytime i want to tell him about something that bothers me, that is his response. From there, everything went down hill. His calls and texts stopped coming as much. The sweet language almost completely stopped, and he stopped making time to spend with me. His tone and language in how he talks to me got very disrespectful to the point that it wold manifest in front of his friends and he would get irritated everytime i would call and try and talk to him. I could ask him "do you miss me"? and he would blow up and get angry and respond by yelling " why you ask a stupid *** question!? I couldnt believe it. I told him not to ever talk to me like that I asked him if he wanted me to stop calling and leave him alone and he told me to shut up and if i ever said anything like that again, to dead my self and move on with life because the realtionship will be over with. Those words hurt like hell and the convo ended with him hanging up on me. The following day he ignored all my calls and texts and for the next 4 days after that I didnt hear from him. the fifth day i couldnt take it anymore so i went over to his house and he was just purely cold. Everytime i tried to touch him, he would tell me to get off of him, he didnt want me to touch him, kiss him, nothing, he even told me to fix my dress when i sat down because he didnt want to see that! All of this was shocking and hurtful. He told me that he wasnt going to call me and that he is acting like this because he doesnt want to talk to me and needs time away from me because he said that i ask him too many questions and argue with him to much. I asked him how he felt about me and he said " I care about you" I asked him if he loved me and he said " im not gonna answer that" I say why and he said "because I dont have to" All of these occurrences were like bullets to the chest. In the end, he said "lets just be friends" i asked him if he doesnt want to be with me and he said no. he said i deserve better and he has some f'd up ways and he doesnt want to end u hurting me.....

I just dont understand how his feelings could go from loving me to death to hating me in just 3 weeks. If i didnt go over there, he would still be ignoring and not calling me. He couldnt even confront me about all this, i had to make him and the fact that he didnt want me touching him like i was poison really hurt and confused me. Please HELP ME UNDERSTAND AND MAKE PEACE WTH THIS, PLEASE! He did just get out of prison 2 months ago from doing a 10 year bid, if that helps with anything and I was the only one there for him. Making sure he was comfortable with letters, money, food, and conversation.

Being away from me and not hearing from me doesnt seem to bother him at all! Ever since the day he told me wanted to be friends, i haven't heard from him and its been 2 weeks already. How could you just go from talking to someone everyday and professing your love for them to complete distance.
After the break-up he told a friend of his that we were ok and he just needed his space because he felt like he was still locked up. He said I was still his lady and he still loved me and wanted to marry me. On the other hand, he told his sister that he just wants us to be friends until he gets himself together, and then he told another friend that he just wants to be friends because I am acting childish. Isnt this confusing, please HELP! Did i do something wrong. He hasnt said hello, or even checked on me these last few weeks but he is flirting with other girls now that its over.

4 weeks later:

I left him alone again up until yesterday when i spoke to a friend of mine and she insisted that I follow my heart and call him. I called and he sent my call to voicemail. I was so hurt because even after 4 weeks he still would not talk to me. It ate me up so bad that the next day i called again, private because i felt that if he heard my voice maybe it would be different. He answered and asked who it was, once he heard it was me, he hung up again. I am tying everything to get myself through this situation but i feel like i am going in circles. I wrote a heartfelt text to his sister asking her to give me advice as if i was her sister or daughter and she completely ignored me which made me feel worse. He obviously hates me by the way he is acting and I just dont understand why his sister would treat me like that especially when we used to be so close. I looked at her as my own sister, even helped he find a job when she got laid off and she just ignored me when i just asked her for advise.

A former inmate of his that was locked up with him heard about what he had did to me and called to talk to me. He told me that i am a beautiful, educated woman and can have any man I want. He said that my ex is stupid because anyone in their right mind wouldn't let someone like me go or do wrong to the one and only person that was there at the lowest point of his life when no one else was. He says that he speaks to him all the time and he asked him about why he didn't want to be with me and said that he couldn't even give a reason. He said that my ex is having a hard time adjusting and wants the finer things too fast and he is moving to fast and sounds like he is loosing his mind. He told me that I am a good girl and I don't deserve that treatment and to not chase the rabbit.

I'm not going to keep going about what he said but it made me feel batter but now i'm sad all over again because i really think he hates me. Why else would someone act like that? being with him while he was locked up wasnt easy at all and was very stressful at times but i never gave up on him. Now that he got out, it was so easy for him to let me go and give up on us just because of arguments and me asking him questions. I just hate it because it hurts SOOOOO much b/c he doesnt want anything to do with me and I still dont know what i did that was wrong. I am tired of making a fool of myself and i dont know what to do. Why is this soo hard?

I still love him and it will not go away! Till this day i wonder if he still loves me, or if he ever did love me.

Currently:
I was doing pretty well, taking the advise from family and friends and taking it day by day, each day getting a little less painful up until yesterday when i heard from his cousin. She told me that she asked him about me but she said that she would let him tell me. I asked her why she couldnt and she said felt it wasnt her place to tell me what the news was. At this point my stomach was in knots because i wanted to know what it was. So i asked her to please tell me and asked her if he was still in love with his ex or something. he response was that she really didnt know about that but she said that him and I are done but with no explanation on why, she said every time she asks him about me its like world war 3 and whatever it is, left a bad taste in his mouth and he acts like its nothing. She said that if she said my name, he would respond by saying "who? dont ever say that name in my presence" she said he got real hostile. He has my name tattooed on his ring finger and she said that he was trying to get it covered up but doesnt know what to put there yet.

I know many of you who know my story would say why do i care but in all honesty, hearing that really hurts me because he despises me, hates me and cant stand me from those statements and i did NOTHING to him. The fact that even with his own cousin, he did not have an explanation of why he broke up with me in the first place is another thing that keeps eating at me and i feel that she hasnt told me everything for whatever reason. Its like i'm back at ground zero again. The only thing i can think of that was done to make him upset was when my mother fussed him out when and made him feel low for all the pain she watched me go through because of him. He had us all deceived and had no remorse for anything that he did, said and lied about. But even that doesnt add up to the resentment he is showing towards me.

I really don't know what to do anymore, why does he hate me, am i missing something??