I'm sure this post gave everybody chills!! I don't know what to say! I'm numb! It describes how they operate so perfectly!

I have one problem with this: I don't really believe the Narcs are THAT smart! To calculate and programm all this so accurately in mathematical accuracy and predict our actions so precisely! I don't give the Narcs that much credit!

And besides, it is impossible for a Narc to spend so much time on another person!! Because all this effort and patience (they are indeed patient predators) and planning, would take so much time off of themselves! That's not possible! Less time for self admiration? Less time in front of the mirror kissing the Divine One? No way!

Their minds are set on "I want and I will take" mode and that's it!

F***ing FREAKS!!

Thanks for the post!
xx

This is what they do and WE need to WAKE UP and smarten up to the truth. This is NOT random and they know exactly what they are doing.

This is all about stepping on the backs of others to get what they want and what they want is OTHERS to do for them and give to them on all levels.

This is not about LOVE by any stretch and the sooner WE get this the sooner WE begin to heal.

Not an easy thing to wrap your brain around. IT takes time and much reading and awareness to understand what they are all about.

This is a good article which clearly illustrates their manipulative techniques.

LEARN THEM and KNOW THEM and never ever get sucked into this type of conman again.

This only has to happen to you once, you don't ever have to walk down this path again.

Onward and upward on the PATH FORWARD away from the PD.

NC, NC, NC!!!

God bless,
Goldie

It's scary to read this.... It's exactly how things unfolded in my relationship. Creepy!

Make me sick that it's so textbook.

Deidre what an unbelievable post!! Thank you for that link!!

It amazing me that these freaks are so text book. No human being acts according to any text book word for word except them. We can't continue to question their disorder when every word matches to a tee. If you do then you are only in denial. If you can't accept what is true and still question yourself....that right there is a huge problem if you ever want your life back!! How many more articles, blogs, ebooks, mods and veterans replies do you need to finally get it??

Stop trying to understand why they do this and that!! They are not to be understood by any REAL person. It's time we look deep inside ourself because wanting an abuser is way fucked up on every level!! We are not the fucked up ones here.....they are!!!

ENOUGH OF WHAT THEY DID.....THEY DID IT.....WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT......YOU THINK YOU CAN CHANGE IT?? NEVER HAPPENING IN THIS LIFETIME OR THE NEXT!!!! THEY ARE PATHOLOGICAL BOTTOM LINE
Either step up to the plate and get it or stay in limbo forever....YOUR CHOICE!! Change your thoughts about what you won't accept. Change your thoughts about what you think you can't do! You can do anything you put your mind to!!!

You know who you are ladies! You know why you were a target! You read enough to know that by now. So I think it's time to put the facts on the table because facts don't lie. He is disordered....YOU ARE NOT!!!

Remember one thing we were HIS mirror. Do you want to become HIS mirror??? A pathetic, depressed, angry, jealous, heartless and empty shell???? WELL DO YOU...REALLY???

WE ROCK ALL OF US!!! HE IS A LOSER AND ALWAYS WIL BE......HE WILL NEVER CHANGE!!

I LOVE YOU ALL

And like Janie says...BE TRUE TO YOU

XOXO
LoserFree

Thanks, Deidre99, great article- but it triggered some post-traumatic stuff!

Really chilling under #1-CHOOSE THE RIGHT VICTIM:

"The right victims are those for whom you can fill a void, who see in you something exotic. They are often isolated or at least somewhat unhappy (perhaps because of recent adverse circumstances)"

My Ex-Robo-Preacher-Man KNEW that I was grieving the recent loss of my daughter and he also KNEW that the vulnerable make great targets. Shame on the weasel!

and:

"#10-USE THE DEMONIC POWER OF WORDS TO SOW CONFUSION...
Inflame people's emotions with loaded phrases, flatter them, comfort their insecurities, envelop them in fantasies, sweet words, and promises,...Keep your language vague, letting them read into it what they want."

I think that is everyone's experience here because NarcoPaths are such chameleons.

And in point # 24, is a good explanation to their control tactics using the Silent Treatment:

"If necessary, deliberately break the spell you have created. If you are to stay in a relationship, beware a flagging of energy, a creeping familiarity that will spoil the fantasy. If the game is to go on, a second seduction is required. Never let the other person take you for granted-use absence, create pain and conflict, to keep the seduced on tenterhooks."

Knowledge is another way we can demystify the narc. Thanks and *ouch*...A little TOO MUCH clarity!

This paragraph stands out to me also:

[CREATE A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY- APPROACH INDIRECTLY
If you are too direct early on, you risk stirring up a resistance that will never be lowered. At first there must be nothing of the seducer in your manner. The seduction should begin at an angle, indirectly, so that the target only gradually becomes aware of you. Haunt the periphery of your target's life-approach through a third party, or seem to cultivate a relatively neutral relationship, moving gradually from friend to lover. Arrange an occasional "chance" encounter, as if you and your target were destined to become acquainted-nothing is more seductive than a sense of destiny. Lull the target into feeling secure, then strike.]

I remember my ex N from last year, how he started to seduce me. It was very gradual and he started out as a friend...just as this says! Like in the background. Texting me here and there...becoming my 'friend.' Then, over time, I was like...wow, I've been talking to N almost every day now. (and we still weren't dating)

Very scary. I wish I knew then, what we know now!

A paragraph taken from the link that really stands out to me from my experiences with narcissist men.

20-MIX PLEASURE WITH PAIN
''The greatest mistake in seduction is being too nice. At first, perhaps, your kindness is charming, but it soon grows monotonous; you are trying too hard to please, and seem insecure. Instead of overwhelming your targets with niceness, try inflicting some pain. Lure them in with focused attention, then change direction, appearing suddenly uninterested. Make them guilty and insecure. Even instigate a breakup, subjecting them to an emptiness and pain that will give you room to maneuver-now a rapprochement, an apology, a return to your earlier kindness, will turn them weak at the knees. The lower the lows you create, the greater the highs. To heighten the erotic charge, create the excitement of fear.''

Lure them in, then change direction. OMG. I am stunned reading this today. I remember this when dating the narc from last year. It was very subtle. Nothing I could pinpoint. As it says here...''appearing uninterested.'' I remember that. And wondering...why is he acting like this? Why was he coming on like gang busters, and now, he barely texts?

It's 'nice' for lack of a better word, to know there's an answer to the madness.

That is almost exactly how all this happened-very creeped out right now