Yeah, eye rolls are free, on the house today.

OK, here is the info-Kind of cathartic to write it.
I met ex and he came on super duper strong and fast. I thought it was a good sign he had been married before, as it meant he wasnt commitment phobic like most men my age at the time (32). Talked about moving in really quickly, and presented super well on paper-as in he had an aspiring career, owned 2 nice condos and was fun and adventurous. He didnt bad mouth the first wife, other than she got "crazy" and they were married 7 months (RED FLAGVILLE) (I have since heard her story and she has said she would not wish him on her worst enemy but she also says "people can change").
Anyway, long story short, he started seeing someone else in that time and flying to another coast to be with her and I thought since he was in aviation it was just the job (duh, I was clueless, trusted him with child like trust). Well I like to believe the best in people. So finally I broke up with him, I think I just got done reading the book "hes just not that into me" because I felt like he was distant and not into it and I deserved better. and then a few weeks later he came on really strong. We got back together, fell in love and we married after knowing one another for a year (wayyyyy to short). And I had found out about the ow soon after we got back together, he told me, we were still not in a committed relationship and he just realized with all of my patience and coolness, I was the one-lol). I remember at the time understanding that he was dating 2 people in the beginning stages of a reltionship, but the capability of his lying was the scarey part and I told him that.
I was very anxious and depressed in the beginning of our marriage, partly due to the part of the hemisphere we lived in and lack of sunlight and partly because I married a total control freak.(looking back he says he didnt know what to do because he was scared that he just married me and I was so depressed and didnt want to do anything(I was-it was bad-but he blamed the control on that). I had noticed some things prior to marriage, but when we were isolated in our town of 250, he micromanaged everything, down to how much toilet paper I wiped my ass with and how much I used the calling card to talk. I was 'rationed' time on the calling card(my entire family and friends lived an 8 hour flight away) and I was the bread winner, at that point.
We had a few months in which my depression lifted and we had love love love, well I got pregnant and we were very happy. Then he got controlling again and micro managed and berated me for everything. Well when the baby was born, I was so worn down(and not from pregnancy but from marriage to a man who always found something wrong and had rages-many punches trhough walls, etc). that I had to go stay with my parents for my maternity leave, as we were relocating anyway and it was like a cry out for help. He agreed with it but berated me again and then said my mom spent to much time with us, as she flew to our new town and helped with the baby while I started my new job and got the baby in day care. (side note: all these life stressors were going on at once, our daughter got diagnosed with an illness and we had no family around and one night he came home from work at 3 am and ripped the blankets off of me and told me "you do not sleep like a married person", because he was a sheet tucker and I was not and had the sheets untucked.WTF
Anyway, I guess I am saying if someone is controlling, when they become a parent it escalates. If your narc is anything like mine a new baby would be a "new start" and almost as if he can prove that he can do it better this time or something. Like he is part of something. Like he can hook the new woman. My ex NArc is very superficial in parenting, like he is showing D off. He doesnt seem genuinely interested, just like she is a trophy kid (she looks identicle to him). But he always wines and cries about how he misses her (and has painted a pic that I am a bitch who keeps her away from him). He never calls her or skypes. Just wants to show her off to his friends and GF. She loves him though and I will let her figure out what she will. Maybe he can change and be a better dad. Maybe the gf can, she is super christian and has strong faith ( he bitched about church all the time-lol).
I dont know if mine would have another baby. His present girlfriend has 2 adopted and he recently told me he wants a vascetomy because he doesnt really like kids and that it was so devastating when "I took off with D and moved 1200 miles away". I have an adopted baby (she is 1 now) and he looked at her picture the last time he was visiting and said "you do realize that is 400 thousand dollars sitting there dont you?") Like he was objectifying kids and how much they cost, etc.
Captain Underpants wants a family soooo bad, his mom was married 7 times and dad 3, he was shuffled around and around and he has always just wanted a family. this was part of the draw to him, as he seemed so sensitive and ready to commit. And that is all I ever wanted too-a family. So, I wouldnt be surprised if he married gf. He just recently told me (after he had sex with me and got into a contract with a new home to move kids and I in, asking me to get back together, I am the love of his life. We are his real family and they are the pseudo family......and now they are back together). Captain Underpants wants a family that he never had...so I can see him marrying her or someone. Even thinking about that still makes me a little sad (way less than ever). I used to worry about him having another baby-because damnit I wanted another with him-it still bothers me sometimes, but after hearing what he says about kids, it would be a JOKE if he had anymore and I hope for the worlds sake he goes out and follows through with a vascetomy asap!!!!
I dont now if I answered but feel free to ask whatever you want or need directly re: this subject.
How are you about yours remarrying?