COMomoftwo's Story

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#1 Jun 2 - 11PM
COMomoftwo
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COMomoftwo's Story

The Charmer

We met in college and he seemed in every way to be the perfect guy. He had a boy next door look about him and the manners of a good southern gentlemen. I was attracted to his intelligence and his seemingly impeccable moral compass. He charmed me in every way possible. He told me that I was his best friend and soul mate and that we were meant to be together forever. He told me that we just fit each other and that he could not ever imagine being apart from me. I believed every word and fell deeply in love with him.

After college, he got a job with his family's real estate company in a different state. I didn't really want to go to an unfamiliar state where I had no family and friends or job prospects but I loved him and followed my heart. He discouraged me from going to graduate school so I found a job and went to work. I didn't realize it at the time but he had already had me under his control at this point. I had such high regard for his opinion and his intelligence that I just went along with his wishes.

Our wedding was a fairy tale. People looked at us and could see the love. I looked at my new husband and knew that I wanted to be with him forever. We held hands, we kissed, we were the picture perfect bride and groom. It was the happiest day of my life.

I knew from the start that my guy had some quirks. I knew he had an ego. I knew he liked things his way and would often make critical comments about how I did anything. I knew he had to have tight control over our money. I knew he had high standards for who he would be friends with. I knew he had an obsession with power and being the best at everything. But I loved him and accepted these quirks.

He was the first one of us to want a baby. I wasn't quite ready but agreed. We got pregnant quickly but I miscarried at 6 weeks. While I sat, vomiting from the excruciating pain of the miscarriage, he played his computer game. There seemed to be no emotional response from him at all. He just wanted to forget about it and get pregnant as quickly as we could again. He made me feel like I was stupid for having feelings of sadness over it. We tried again and got pregnant quickly after that with our first daughter. She was born and I felt he was disconnected from the start. All of his family members held her before he did. When we brought her home from the hospital, we were exhausted. I put her in the bassinet and she would not stay asleep for more than 30 minutes at a time. He told me to let her cry. I could not and held her in my arms and cried myself while he slept the night away. I felt incredibly alone and could not understand why he wasn't there along side me helping.

I became a stay at home mom and 2 years later we had our second daughter. He was constantly badgering me to go back to work despite the fact that he made plenty of money for us to live on his salary alone. He belittled me and my other friends that were stay at home moms. I took care of everything, the children, the house, the errands, the cooking, the cleaning, the yard. I brought him lunch everyday and cooked him all of his favorite dinners. If I dared ask him to do anything, he would tell me that it was my job since I was the one at home. His time at home was his time to decompress. He pretty much spent all of his free time playing computer games. He didn't come with us to the park or the pool and I couldn't understand why he didn't want to spend time as a family.

When our second was 2 years old, I went back to work to try to make him happy again. This did not make him happy because I expected that the work associated with the house and the kids would be 50/50 and when it wasn't I let him know that I needed more from him. He began spending a lot of time with his assistant at work. She came to our house almost every weekend. He talked non stop about her. He urged me to be friends with her. I didn't keep him on a short leash, so I let him go on vacations and weekends away with her and other friends. Since I had just started back at work, I didn't have any vacation time saved to go on the trips with him. I never dreamed that he would be cheating on me.

This is when I started feeling really devalued. The criticism became almost constant. Everything I said or did was cause for an argument. He started saying that he'd been really unhappy for several years. He felt he never got anything that he wanted and he thought I put him last. Nothing I did to try to correct my perceived downfalls was enough. I didn't appreciate him enough. I didn't call his mom enough. I didn't plan enough trips. I didn't wear enough sexy underwear. I didn't cook enough gourmet meals. I didn't pretend to like the things he likes enough. I didn't touch and cuddle him enough. I didn't verbally praise him enough.

He told me that he needed a separation. He went to live with the other woman during that time. He claims that she was just a friend and he was staying there to save money. He stayed there a month and then asked for the divorce. He placed all of the blame on me for the issues that we were having. I was devastated and did not understand. He made me crazy wondering what I had done wrong. My friends told me that he was the crazy one and that this was not my fault and that I didn't deserve to be treated this way and that he was emotionally/verbally abusing me. It has taken me 8 months and I am just now believing my friends. Reading and understanding about NPD has really helped me to see my situation for what it is.

XNH now lives with the OW and I'm on the path forward!

Jun 3 - 9PM
mes6268
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same story

Jun 4 - 11AM (Reply to #3)
COMomoftwo
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Same Story

Jun 4 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
mes6268
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I think they are cloned!

Jun 3 - 6AM
Femmegem
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Hi Co