I have not posted in a while, but read alot.
I went to court in March after a prolonged case against exNh. We divorced in 2008. When he found new victim in 2009, he decided he could no longer afford to support the kids, because (as I found out from his bank records in discovery) he was busy wining and dining new victim extravagantly on his unemployment. At one point, he even stopped child support altogether, saying he had no money!
So, we went back to court. he owes thousands for everything. He refuses to pay my parents anything, even though they have been caring for the kids. they are retired and cannot afford to do it for free, so the amount I pay is minimal.
We cannot speak, have no communication (which I love, but makes it difficult when I am supposed to consult him on issues regarding the kids). He forwarded my emails everywhere, so I put a non-forward on them to self-destruct. Oh! And he has a Narc attorney that believes every word he says drips with diamonds!
So, my attorney advised dissolving joint parenting, I should go for sole custody.
At hearing, his atty asked mine how much evidence we had regarding the custody, my attorney said, "about 2 days worth". His said, "Forget it, he doesn't want to spend the money, just take it!"
Now, they have sent a "proposed parenting agreement". Yeah, they say i have sole custody as long as he agrees with my choices!
He doesn't spend alot of time with them, has not called them on the phone since Jan. 2010, so only talks to them (barely) when he actually has them.
I feel horrible about the whole thing. My ds, 11, adores him yet knows what he is. My ds, 7, could take him or leave him.
He wants to control all of us even though he is getting married to his latest victim!
I also cannot understand how he has kept his mask up for 3 years with her! i know he says I am turning the kids against him, but she has been subsidizing his lawsuit/attack on me!
He DOESN'T WANT THEM! Why, why, why??? Why is he doing this?
He constantly projects onto me still. When will he show his true self to new victim?? Why has it been 3 years and nothing?
Why do the kids still want to go? He ignores my daughter almost completely when they are there!
When does it end?
I try to remember triangulation and try to stay out of it and still he acts this way to me! Through the kids, through the courts.
And at what point will the courts finally say that's it? Judge knows he is a deadbeat.
Help! I need something to get me through! I thought it was over when I got sole custody, but according to exNh, I still have to consult with him on everything. He wants to be able to get a 2nd opinion before the kids get a cavity filled! WTH????