sugarosesweet's story

confused again

everyday i read comments and try and learn about this.
its hard to grasp what has happened when your feelings are involved. when i am with him i know soemthing is wrong. he does his own thing on his own time clock, everything i bring up to him he turns it around on me.
I have been in relationship 7 years, broke it off 2 months ago. as time goes on i question myself even more. is he r not. i start to think of the good times and start to think aww its not that bad. ### he has been over here in the past week crying his eyes out and professing his love to me and that i need to stop.and again he can go on for hours begging and pleading but ofcourse making you feel like you are the reason for all the mess.
7 years ago i left my husband of 18 years to be with him.
i had red flags. but i didnt listen. he tells me now that i will regret leaving him becuase i reget leaving my exhusband so in the future i will reget leaving him also.
he tells me its my childhood that prevents me from trusting him, and ect. on and on and on.
this is hard they is so much i want to say. but get so frustrated. im feeling very down and doing the dissonced thing. im not even trying to watch my spelling. sorry.
one last thing. we have broke r i have broke up with him may times and the last time it was for 3 months i cut him off all togethter i opened an email from him and got scared and took him back that was last year.
i let him get in my head and again im feeling like what in the hell i have this man that loves me to death when we are broken up but when we are together it doesnt feel like that. im just so confused.
i hope this email makes sense. hopefully i can explain it more detailed later. thanks for here. M