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OK, you were all right the sadness hit me and I have been processing a lot this week. Although, I am NC and it feels good. Well I did slip up tonight because he texted me to talk to D and I texted back and said she wasnt here (she is sleeping over her cousins) and he called me. I did not answer, he tried 3 times and I pressed the ignore button. then he started to text me about how he wanted to say goodbye and would I tell him what he did, etc. I didnt buy into it because to me , it was clearly him wanting N. Supply from me, as he felt he was no longer able to get it from me. So we did exchange a few texts and he said "I wish I never broke up with J, I gave up the best relationship I ever had to work on things with you. J stood by me like no one else ever has". FURIOUS!!!!, so this got me really upset. (he was just telling me how he didnt love her and complaining about the relationship-last week-wtf). To me it seems this woman has no self esteem to want to stay with him after he had a menage with 2 women while on a work trip!!! He is mistaking lack of self esteem for her standing by him.
I see the above as a tactic for him to get NS from me and nothing more. It did bug me a little though hearing how wonderful gf was in his eyes. I will roll on the floor laughing if they get back together, but I will feel sorry for her.
I need to tighten up NC a bit but I am happy I am at least getting the concept and willing to do it now.
s
Please dont say I told u so.
May 28, 2012 - 7:10am — shylohPlease dont say I told u so. Got wrapped up in a text conv. he tells me now,he gave up the best relationship he has ever have to be with me.......he still loves her and it is 'dark' why he cheated on her. That I shrivel back and abandon him when things get bad,.and I never stood by him.he said why is it when he does something wrong considered bad character and when I do, I consider it self preservation?
I am sick.....and if anyone is even considering breaking no contact.do not do it.I ruined my weekend ,wasnt present for my kids and regressed.I am very dissapointed in myself
He knows what to say to
May 25, 2012 - 11:19pm — TryingToMoveForwardHe knows what to say to Manipulate you. Don't believe his lies about the OW. He thinks of her the same as you, a means to an end, supply. Reinstate NC and be strong!
Awareness
May 28, 2012 - 3:52pm — shylohI just read Goldies post about "scene I , II and II". Very good post btw. And I realized that is it-I CAN NOT GET IT THROUGH MY SKULL THAT HE IS PD-N. And I believe that more love, more support, more chances will help him change. He sometimes shows these sensitive, vulnerable colors and it plays at my heart strings. I am in denial and can not believe this man cant change.
I believe that all people are good. And I believe, no this cant be true, he has PD traits but he couldnt be one. I met his sister one time and I immediately knew she had a PD (I am a social worker and trained clinically-yeah imagine that with the struggle I am having). Anyway, I interacted with her for 5 minutes and realized she was PD-hmmmmmmmm, what are the chances, why can not I see that he is PD!!!!
And someone else on another post said something about them being drawn to their PD because he was a rescue from the mundane and an ideal man. I too experience that. i associated him with a better life, due to lifestyle, having fun ,living someplace I would rather live, etc. blech