Memorial weekend is very hard for me. I thought I was doing ok then boom! Today is his 52nd birthday and the 27 it was 6 years ago that I met him at the wedding. I know it's because my life is lonely and his is not. He hasn't talked to his daughters in 10 years because he left them. So it was his choice therefore doesn't bother him. All that matters is that he has a hot woman dangling from his arm. Today my mind was racing on how I made his bdays special, then I flashed to the day of the wedding and I was swept away and now 5 years later I am washed up. I am struggling financially because of his false promises to me and he is a millionare, outthere falunting his lifestyle. Just gets me down. So then I brought mny memory bank to the horrible monster that he is, to rid myself of the phony memories. Still so very hard...