Still struggling

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#1 May 23 - 4PM
NoMoreFreakBoy
NoMoreFreakBoy's picture

Still struggling

Hi All. Thanks for your support these past few days. This site is a Godesnd.

I am NC for only 5 days. It is getting harder for me. I guess I expected him to contact me. But I was always the one to text him first, so why would I expect to hear from him especially when he said I won't have him no matter what? And why do I want him to contact me? Why do I put so much stock in what he thinks of me? You all know how treated me, devalued me. They all do the same thing. I have so much in my life, but too many reminders of him and my mistake with him makes me feel so low about myself. I just want to escape all of this. I know, NC, NC. I wish I knew if he was thinking of me, he was so enraged because I called him a narc and he smear campaigned me at work. I just want to know if I not possible to hurt him, that one day soon he will realize he lost a good thing in me. I wish I knew if he was thinking of me and got a sick feeling in his stomach and had to pop a few Xanax just to sleep tonight. Why do I think he is happy right now? And why do I think I missed out on making memories with him? It's like one day I ok and the next I regress again with NC.

May 23 - 7PM
onwithmylife
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minnieme

May 23 - 4PM
Deidre99
Deidre99's picture

Your feelings are very

May 23 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
NoMoreFreakBoy
NoMoreFreakBoy's picture

As I cry....

May 23 - 5PM (Reply to #3)
Lucky Escape
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Hi MM

May 23 - 6PM (Reply to #4)
Lisa Mitchell
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You all give me much