I am so pathetic it seems (he called me that once)...I called him Marc he showed his rage by coming to my job (his ex employer) and started smear campaign. Of course he told me coworkers think I a joke and talk bad about me , blah blah....I wish I was a quick comeback type of person by I wish I could have responded to him that they think I a joke for associating with him, which is true, prior to him I had a squeaky clean reputation at work. I blocked his texts, emails, etc...but The idea that I will never be in touch with him again hurts ....why?...he was nasty to me...why can't I let go of this illusion of him being the best lover and husband and dad if we were to be married and that we would have had so much fun together. Why would I want to subject myself to the walking on egg shells, not knowing if I said the wrong thing and being treated like dirt? It's raining here today, I had my nieces confirmation and I was listening in church and thought how horrible to be at odds with narc and that made me want to reach out and say lets bury the hatchet, let's agree to disagree and call it a day...but I know I can't contact him...it hurts bad, I wish I could stay angry.