Register and join our discussion in the Message Board
I feel like I'm in shock this morning.
I can't believe I shared so much of me .... My hopes, my dreams, intimacy with someone that doesn't even care and can just ignore me.... It makes me want to vomit!
Does that feeling go away?
How interesting you should mention this today. I was thinking earlier how much ExN knows about me. Absolutely everything. I told him everything! Things I haven't told anybody ever. He just stored all that info in his back pocket to use against me later. I haven't heard from him, but I know he's talking and I'm sure he's saving it for later.
Right now, I'm glad he's ignoring me. But I a little nervous he's going to use my secrets to hurt me, if nothing else to tell other people. He told me his ex's secrets, certainly I'm not immune. He'll probably make stuff up to make it extra juicy.
I don't think that betrayal feeling will ever go away, especially when they hold our secrets. Pigs! Losers!
Just remember, you must know plenty of his secrets too. Not that I suggest sharing them but you know the truth.
I know how you feel, I felt the same way. I think in time that feeling will go away that's why we have to remind ourselves everything we had with our Narc wasn't real. don't let him destroy the beautiful person you are who can show real love. remember narc's are not capable of knowing how show real love. :-)
IT is a horrible shock to our systems in every way, but I am over 3 years out and you will feel better ,then again I did all the work, reading books, internet sites, talking to others who went through what I did and, yes I can say with time and education, it does get better, for me now the biggest obstacle is finding a nice decent man to share my life with, because I am so ready to move on.....
Thank u 'onwithmylife' for sharing. It's nice to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
if the feeling goes away. For me, the worst part of trusting this horrible person who clearly is not trustWORTHY, & then having things I told him thrown back in my face as "proof" that I'm f'd up, is something I've never had to deal with before. I've had my share of relationships & even the not-so-great ones ever damn near destroyed me like this one has. What scares ME is that this experience has left me feeling that I will never trust a man ever again. That I did trust, & share, & HAVE the ability for true intimacy is something I will always celebrate in myself, even though in this case it was misplaced. But letting this bastard ruin my trusting nature for the rest of my life? That is the major thing that I need to work on.
I'm also scared that I will never trust again or never let someone close again.
It's only been 3 months since we broke up and people are already asking me If someone new is on the scene. I have no desire what so ever to share me .... With someone else. Doesn't interested me at all. I'm hoping that with time this feeling will go away.
I haven't been angry about any of what's happened but it makes me angry that he might have wrecked things for me in the future.... Yet he just carries on with ow like I never existed. Ar......hole!
I am not interested in getting that close to ANYBODY right now. But when I do feel ready. I am going to take it slow and probably even hold some stuff back. It's a boundaries issue. I should never have told him EVERYTHING in the first place! Lesson learned.
Give yourself time to heal from your wounds and when that right time comes you will know when to start trusting someone in your life again. don't ever believe he ruin things for you in the future because you are still the sensitive, loving and giviing person and that's one thing he can never take away from you!
© E. Scott Enterprises | Lisa E. Scott
We are not certified mental health professionals and this site and message board is in no way a replacement for professional therapy, legal or medical advice.