How interesting you should mention this today. I was thinking earlier how much ExN knows about me. Absolutely everything. I told him everything! Things I haven't told anybody ever. He just stored all that info in his back pocket to use against me later. I haven't heard from him, but I know he's talking and I'm sure he's saving it for later.

Right now, I'm glad he's ignoring me. But I a little nervous he's going to use my secrets to hurt me, if nothing else to tell other people. He told me his ex's secrets, certainly I'm not immune. He'll probably make stuff up to make it extra juicy.

I don't think that betrayal feeling will ever go away, especially when they hold our secrets. Pigs! Losers!

Just remember, you must know plenty of his secrets too. Not that I suggest sharing them but you know the truth.

IT is a horrible shock to our systems in every way, but I am over 3 years out and you will feel better ,then again I did all the work, reading books, internet sites, talking to others who went through what I did and, yes I can say with time and education, it does get better, for me now the biggest obstacle is finding a nice decent man to share my life with, because I am so ready to move on.....

if the feeling goes away. For me, the worst part of trusting this horrible person who clearly is not trustWORTHY, & then having things I told him thrown back in my face as "proof" that I'm f'd up, is something I've never had to deal with before. I've had my share of relationships & even the not-so-great ones ever damn near destroyed me like this one has. What scares ME is that this experience has left me feeling that I will never trust a man ever again. That I did trust, & share, & HAVE the ability for true intimacy is something I will always celebrate in myself, even though in this case it was misplaced. But letting this bastard ruin my trusting nature for the rest of my life? That is the major thing that I need to work on.