Hello. It's been a while since I've posted in the forum. In the early days, I clung to this forum and gained so much valuable knowledge. I'm forever grateful. I know that I wouldn't be where I am today without the support of this site.
I would like to fill you in on some amazing things that have happened since I ended my engagement, went no contact, and received a protection order against the psychopath in my life 14 months ago. Wow, it seems like so much longer than 14 months.
I hope that you will also find the strength inside to move on and appreciate the valuable knowledge that you've gained so that you can change the direction of your life. It's cliche, but it's true. When you change the way you look at things, the things that you look at change. It's a blessing in disguise.
A few weeks ago, I received an offer letter for employement with the FBI as a Special Agent. This has been my dream job since I was 18 years old. I've been through a rigorous mental and physical testing and interview process. My final interview involved me walking into a room with three FBI Agents that knew nothing about me other than my name. During that hour, I spoke very candidly about my experiences with the psychopath in my life and the knowledge that I've gained as a result. I hoped that they weren't looking for a perfect person for the job, but rather someone that can pick themself up and grow from their life experiences. So I layed it all out there. The cold hard truth.
As I was speaking about the psychopathic traits, the agents nodded in agreement. I'm sure that they deal with psychos everyday. I spoke about the psychopath having no conscience, invented personas, lying for the sport of it, isolation attempts, word salad, control through the use of cell phone and computer spyware, and a hidden criminal past just to name a few traits.
My point is that I've not only disovered and corrected the reasons that I was vulnerable to the psychopath, but I also see the bigger picture now. I know why I needed to go through it. I'm a much wiser, more compassionate human being that is now armed with the knowledge to build a wonderful psycho-free life.
I've let go of the fairytale that Disney crams down our throats from the time we're little girls. You don't need a man to rescue you. The truth is, deep inside you don't even want a man to rescue you. You need to rescue yourself. You can't let a man fill the void that other things should be filling in your life like your relationship with God, your family/friends and yourself.
A part of me died and it was painful. But that naive, ego-filled part of me needed to die. And the parts of me that survived are stronger for it.
I know that you can make it. Have faith and trust in the process. You'll get there.