Just had a really good cry.
Something as small as my friend receiving a text from her friend sent me spiralling out of control.
Her friend was talking about getting ready to go on a date, she was starting to try on some different dresses while deciding on her make up, perfume etc.. She was excited.
It reminded me of how I felt getting ready to meet N when he adored me, when we went to fantastic places or just a walk in the park.
I miss that feeling, of being special and loved.
I know it wasn't real.
After countless ST's for no reason it is clear to me that he couldn't possibily have loved me and that I miss the person that never really was.
I went home and let myself cry. I'm so sad.