Back again *sigh*- should I delete her off facebook?

Back again *sigh*- should I delete her off facebook?
Posted May 18, 2012 - 6:06am
0

I feel like such a fool....
When my sociopath fiance broke up with me I became friends with a girl who seemed to be going through the same thing.
She was quite clingy and full on and to be honest there were some warning signs, but I ignored them because- well shes female right?

Aaaanyway......my parents and one of my other friends said they thought she was a narcissist or there was something wrong with her. I ignored it, fool that I am.

Basically i had a lot of fun with her for a year and she was my best friend. We shared everything and she made me feel great about myself.
Things started to change a few months ago....I could feel her devaluing me....you know when you just KNOW.
No need for all the details, its the same as all of them. But basically I have found out from two separate sources the things she has said to others to try and discredit me and my reputation behind my back. And omg sooooo many lies.
She has been revealing her true colours over time....she keeps friends around even tho she doesnt like them because they buy her things. She bitches about every friend she has.....shes just awful :(
Anyway the more her true colours have been coming out, the more ive been disagreeing with her..and because Im not falling at her feet agreeing with her every little thing, she seems to have now stopped me from seeing all her posts on facebook. She used to post on facebook ALL the time, and now I cant see anything. Im still a friend but I cant see anything. Do you think I should delete her on there?

‹ Had to share............ Help...I need support please ›
mystwoman's picture

Yes. Pay attention to the

May 20, 2012 - 12:10pm — mystwoman

Yes. Pay attention to the warning signals. Follow your instincts. You'll find they're usually correct. This "friend" is being toxic to you. Let her go. Focus on yourself and your healing. She will only impede your progress. You need to love yourself enough to insist on being surrounded by supportive, positive people that love and accept you just for being you. If someone doesn't fit that criteria, they are not good for you. You don't need them in your life. Let them go.

I'll tell you exactly what one of my best friends told me soon after xnh's final D&D. I was constantly being inundated with information from others about xnh, his family, his doings, OW, etc. I was frequently told about the badmouthing and toxic comments being said about me. Some of this was in person, and a lot of it was on Facebook. I had friended a lot of his family and mutual friends before the D&D. Afterward, this being "friends" with them became very painful for me. I was obsessive about looking at their pages to see what was being said about me, xnh, and the divorce. One day my best friend walked up behind me and saw what I was looking at on the monitor. She also saw how it was upsetting me, and said, "You need to block them all NOW. This is only hurting YOU. You do NOT need to see this crap." She was absolutely right. I went block, block, block, and I've never looked back. I'm MUCH healthier emotionally now NOT knowing any of the garbage from xnh and his side of the railroad tracks. It simply does not matter in my life any longer. I'm healing and I'm moving on into a happier future without the narc anywhere in it. I don't need to see this crap.

IMO, the same applies here to you and this "friend". Therefore, as a friend, I'm going to tell you exactly what my friend told me, "You need to block them all NOW. This is only hurting YOU. You do NOT need to see this crap." Delete her. Block her. Move on. Focus on yourself and your healing. She is not loving and accepting you just for you. You don't need her in your life. Love YOURSELF. You are so worth the effort.

Huge hugs.

chris53's picture

Don't ignored all the warning

May 18, 2012 - 7:54am — chris53

Don't ignored all the warning signs, run as fast as you can! :-)

tootsgee's picture

YES ... Narc or not she is a

May 18, 2012 - 7:47am — tootsgee

YES ... Narc or not she is a nasty piece of work! DELETE... xx

Monarch's picture

BLOCK!!!! no doubt.

May 18, 2012 - 7:32am — Monarch

BLOCK!!!! no doubt.

eyeswideopen35's picture

sorry this has happened to

May 18, 2012 - 6:49am — eyeswideopen35

sorry this has happened to you, i definitely would block her from Facebook and go no contact. all the best, x o

Sparrow's picture

She MUST be blocked from face

May 18, 2012 - 6:48am — Sparrow

She MUST be blocked from face book. Immediately.

Wallace's picture

Block her

May 18, 2012 - 6:13am — Wallace

Treat her like every other N - block her on FB and NC NC NC! Sorry this happened to you but the positive aspect is that you recognised what she was doing and now you can make a concious decision to rid your life of these toxic people.

xxx

Littleone's picture

Thanks for your response! Yes

May 18, 2012 - 6:46am — Littleone

Thanks for your response!
Yes I suppose I should really shouldnt I....
I feel like im going crazy sometimes...
after the sociopath I became involved with another one but got rid of him quick smart...and now this friend...
Sometimes I wonder if it really is me, because surely its not possible for there to be so many!

Deidre99's picture

I think the stat is 1 in

May 18, 2012 - 9:58am — Deidre99

I think the stat is 1 in every 25 people are narcissists. (Hunter, is that right? You and I talked about that before. lol)

It's not you. Narcissists do tend to target people who are empathetic, and nurturing to them. They push the envelope over and over, upping the ante, seeing how long their friends/lovers/family members tolerate the behavior.

The good news here is...you know what to look for, and you're choosing you. I agree with the others, delete her.

Good luck!