I promise.

It feels bad now, and the pain will lift. You will be free of it. Just keep on the path.

I find that posting on this board, especially on the lonely nights, helps me a lot. If not for this I would still be trying to make my friends understand that this was not a normal breakup. They looked at me like I was crazy when I first told them, and by this point I would be hearing that I "should be getting over it", or "just go outside and get some sunshine".

Not even the one friend who had met him and been on the receiving end of his hate (for me refusing to end the friendship) understood. She knew he was different and often rude, she saw my deterioration, and yet still could not grasp why I was having such a horrible time after the breakup.

After the first few weeks, I have found that getting out during the day helps. I'm unemployed, and would go days without talking to a human being. This morning I went hiking with a woman friend. Every once in a while something triggers me and I relapse and cry and spend a day or two in my house, but it IS getting better. When it first happened I was crying every minute of the day and basically going crazy. Now I can function sometimes 5 days a week! Sometimes I get less during my grocery shopping as an excuse to have to leave the house for something later in the week.

I think we each have to find that thing that we use to heal ourselves. At one point my thing was the gym. I went six days a week. And of course the bonus was that I became strong and healthy. If you have a sport you used to love, maybe get involved in it again. Volunteer. I don't know if you have kids, but sometimes I borrow my grandchildren because such absolute and unconditional love always helps.

Hang in there. We are going to get through this.