need a reminder

need a reminder
Posted May 17, 2012 - 4:19pm
0

Packing today for what should be a great trip to Europe with my mom to celebrate her birthday. But all I can think about is my N/P. It's been so many months and Ive read and read and still all I can think about today is him. The girl he married is from Africa but she lives in Europe. She was a lesbian supposedly until she met him and married him in 2 weeks. She has Aspergers. 2 different kids with 2 different men. And no custody of the kids. (And there's a wonderful story about why as I'm sure you can imagine.) He was sobbing that he was so in love with me 2 hours before he met her. Sobbing. And I'd waited to hear that from him my whole entire life.

And I know, I know, the whole thing is an absolute disaster. At least he met someone who may actually be crazier than him. I also know that she's a prop and that he'll dispose of her when he's eaten her up and spit her out. But I will say this, I've known him since I was 14, and the minute I saw her picture on FB and read through her profile I knew that he would marry her. I got it. Instantly.

So why is it that I'm insanely jealous that all I get to do is visit Europe and that totally whacked out nutso SOB gets to live there? Why should he get to do anything fun? Ever?!?

So what I need is a reminder that this is complete CD. That it would not be fun to live in Europe with a crazy woman. That there is nothing normal or fun in any of this. That it would be a complete disaster even if he wasn't a total psychopath.

Sorry to lean on y'all, but it's been one of those kinds of days...

‹ The value of support (here, for example) Pain ›
Sparrow's picture

I'm still trying to figure

May 17, 2012 - 5:31pm — Sparrow

I'm still trying to figure out why you care? Whether she is crazy or not is irrelevant. You aren't looking at the whole picture.

She gets to live with him far far away from you. This is a blessing, you should be jumping for joy!

And a trip to Europe with a non-disordered is well worth it's weight in gold compared to a lifetime in Europe with the disordered.

Enjoy your trip, enjoy the company of your Mother. Leave them to their misery. You earned a "get out of jail free" card. Celebrate it!

mirrorshaker's picture

I just don't want him to be happy

May 17, 2012 - 5:45pm — mirrorshaker

ever. Or get to do something cool. Like travel the world. Or live in interesting places. It's just not fair.

I know, I know I shouldn't care, but I sooooo want him to be miserable after what he did to me.

BtrflyGrl's picture

mirrorshaker

May 17, 2012 - 6:24pm — BtrflyGrl

First, quit worrying about his misery. He is a miserable person, isn't that enough. Is he ever really happy anyway? Isn't it all a facade? Don't care! I have the same feeling my ExN will marry the Deli Girl...I mean he hasn't been married in nearly 4 years now... oh my. But you know what? Too bad for her. She can be ex-wife #5, honestly better her than me.

Secondly, have you been to Europe before? It is fantastic and exciting and so full of history and legend. You will have a great time.

He absolutely doesn't have it better than you. He is a loser and a user. Don't confuse yourself. Stay strong and have fun.

Also, a lot of us live in very interesting places, but because we are there, we don't bother to take advantage of it. Explore your own world, I'm sure there are some exciting things at home too.

mirrorshaker's picture

Europe

May 17, 2012 - 7:44pm — mirrorshaker

Yes, lived in France for years. And it just stings that he gets to go and stay.

But you're right. He is a loser and a user. And that's what counts.

And Sparrow is right too -- I should count my lucky stars.

It could have been sooooo much worse.

Thank you ladies! It's so crazy -- I feel so much better and then wham it leaks in again.