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Emotions of a NARC
MissK
Member since:
1 year 6 weeks
1 year 6 weeks
Last activity:
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4 weeks 4 days
Emotions of a NARC
Posted May 17, 2012 - 8:40pm
I was just at a funeral and saw my exnarc. He tried to speak to me but I ignored him and looked the other way. During the funeral, I noticed he was actually showing emotion and had tears in his eyes. When I see this I regress and think is he really a narcissist. I know we all doubt this at sometime but I need to know badly. Can they put this on. He did not know I was looking so it was not a show for me!!! Could I be judging him wrong.
Please advise - I am still crying nearly every day and have anxiety attacks.
© E. Scott Enterprises | Lisa E. Scott
We are not certified mental health professionals and this site and message board is in no way a replacement for professional therapy, legal or medical advice.
MissK
May 18, 2012 - 7:58am — onwithmylifethese men are great actors when the exnarc's dog died he was crying like a baby but if you read info about narcs, they are fake tears, they have no real emotions but anger, rage, jealousy all the negative ones, none of the compassionate, empathetic ones.Read all the books, the different websites, get therapy if you get stuck and remember it is a process with time............like it or not, it is up to YOU to do the homework to recover from this alien...........
I just laughed out loud when
May 18, 2012 - 10:18am — pamela11I just laughed out loud when you referred to the N as an alien...That's the best definition I've heard yet. They are aliens no statement has ever been more true.
totally agree
May 18, 2012 - 9:57am — lessonlearnedconsummate actors. my N could turn on the waterworks at the drop of a hat, but i didn't get to see how adept he was at that until i had figured out that he was a N. it was like he had a catalogue of different situational scripts & he would try them out until he hit upon one that "worked."
funerals are easy. the script reads 'mixture of stoicism & sadness.'
I remember being at a funeral
May 18, 2012 - 3:47am — eyeswideopen35I remember being at a funeral with my NH and he said that he felt like laughing... He said he often felt like laughing at inappropriate time..sometimes we'd see something on the news or in a movie, I'd be shatttered and de aster and he'd laugh..
It was so disturbing..
The only time I saw him shed a tear was on our wedding day! We had been to a wedding a few months before and the groom was emotional, so guess he just did the same!
Exactly...he "cried" at our
May 18, 2012 - 7:29am — missymExactly...he "cried" at our wedding - that was 16 years ago and I never saw anything remotely emotional (on a real, loving basis) since. Not even when our daughter was born.
Big deal. He could contrive
May 17, 2012 - 11:00pm — missymBig deal. He could contrive it or not...does not change what he has done to you.
In my life with narcexh, my father died tragically (whom I thought he adored), his father died (who he had no relationship with), his only decent relative wonderful aunt died too young....never a shed of emotion...no real loss expressed or even any "support" to those who actually did love the loved one. This more than almost anything else (and there were innumerable instances) showed me how much of a monster he is. His aunt (who was only 54) and delightful...had cancer for TWO years...before she died. HE NEVER WENT TO visit her in this time...yet showed up for her funeral.
They are pigs and monsters.....don't doubt yourself.
MIRRIOR ,MIRRIOR..if all are
May 17, 2012 - 10:19pm — HunterMIRRIOR ,MIRRIOR..if all are in tears.. He needs to participate ..
How fun for a narc to attended a funeral.. Wow.. I can shed some tears .. Oh boy.. Let the supply come running ...
Hunter
Realized
May 17, 2012 - 10:33pm — phantom adorationmy N attended a service for the elderly Mother of a sister in law.
Simply an action to determine where he stands with this family and what better way than pay his respects. NOT
So completely inappropriate. He does not maintian a relationship with them and has not in years. Had I been in the geograhical area I would not have attended even though I have a good and real realtinship with the sister in law...why, because it was not about me.
My last will and testament will prevent his attending any service on my behalf should I pass first.
Sort of a final restraining order...he'll hate that, not being around for the curtain call.
Yes
May 17, 2012 - 9:42pm — Empowered_EmpathI believe they can fake emotions and even crying. My exN is a school principal, he had to speak once about a beloved teacher that had passed away, and someone mentioned how choked up he became while talking. He's also known as "Mr. Nice" and he is, very nice, but he isn't kind at all. He would tell me how great he was at telling parents to "Go to Hell" and they would thank him for it.
How do they manage to fake tears? Beats the hell out of me. Maybe they imagine their dick fell off, may they imagine what it would be like to never see themselves in a mirror again, or what it would be like to have no supply whatsoever. Whatever they think, I doubt it's about what we humans think about that make us cry, such as the loss of a loved one.
Also, a man appearing "choked up" could perhaps create an illusion where we see tears in his eyes, but they aren't really there. We see what we want to see. We want to see a human being because the truth can be unbearable. But the only way to break free from abusive behavior, is to face the truth and accept it.
E.E.
Tears????
May 17, 2012 - 9:40pm — LaylaMy abuser cried at the end of "Hallmark Channel" movies but was capable of drugging me and anally raping me.
True story.
These "things" are ACTORS. NEVER doubt how he TREATED YOU. His actions are HIM. The REAL him.
love~ Layla
His actions are HIM.....
May 17, 2012 - 9:56pm — fallingfowardWow Layla, you are on fire tonight, hermana!!!! I was having a very bad day today, full of CD. But after reading this post and the other ones you wrote on some other posts. Snap me right out of it!!!!! So sorry you went through all that, what a fucker.
His actions are him. Powerful statement and so true
love
xoxo
ff
MissK
May 17, 2012 - 8:58pm — ruby01What you saw him do at a funeral has no bearing upon how he treated you.
If he didn't treat you like a Lady when you were with him, then good riddance!
Crocodile tears to keep up
May 17, 2012 - 8:46pm — uncomfortablynumbCrocodile tears to keep up appearance? My good friend's ex narc put on the tears to try to make her feel bad..
How can we really be sure???
May 17, 2012 - 8:48pm — MissKHow can we really be sure??? I am really confused and feeling vunerable.
You can be sure about how he
May 17, 2012 - 8:52pm — uncomfortablynumbYou can be sure about how he treated you what kind of person he really is..it's pretty likely he has people he is not close to who think he's Mr Nice Guy...he has to keep appearance for the sake of that...
Thank you everyone - I just
May 17, 2012 - 9:10pm — MissKThank you everyone - I just needed a bit of support.
I also would like to say this site is so good for us. I have seen some posts that I agree with in relation to talking to friends about the situation. Nobody really understands what it is like to feel like we do unless they have been through it. I am also sick of everyone saying to move on, get over it, you could have left earlier. This does not help me. I do not talk about anything to do with the NARC except here now.
Much appreciate all the support gained here.
MissK
I am glad
May 17, 2012 - 9:30pm — phantom adorationyou found this site. It is a great form of support.
I believe he knew you were watching him and the tears were for your benefit in addition to others he needs to impress.
There is always a purpose behind behind their actions, always a motive...
Ignore those that insist you "get over it", advise you to "move on"...this is a difficult journey.
I know this as I have been on the path forward for sometime.
Thanks. Just needed that.
May 18, 2012 - 3:35am — MissKThanks. Just needed that.
xx