Feeling like the worst day ever & its not even noon

Feeling like the worst day ever & its not even noon
Posted May 16, 2012 - 1:19pm
0

I had an appt with my therapist this morning that I desperately needed after the week I've had. I get in my car and I'm driving to my appt and mind mind has been so preoccupied lately that I rear ended a very nice lady in a mini van. I apologize profusely and give her all of my information. Now I'm panicking even more as I drive away because I'm already five minutes late for my session & after the week I've had I need every single minute. I get to my therapist's office and her receptionist says she had a family emergency and needed to reschedule. She says to me that she called this morning & left me a message but it was from a private number so I did not respond & I deleted the message without even listening to it. Now I'm sitting in my car outside of her office and I think I'm about to cry.

‹ UPDATE....my husband took my kids To sever all ties or not sever all ties? That is the question... ›
Sparrow's picture

I am so sorry. everyone has

May 16, 2012 - 4:37pm — Sparrow

I am so sorry. everyone has already given you the same positive advise I would give you, so will bypass that for a moment and suggest that you speak to your therapist, explain the NC rule that your have implemented for yourself and ask her to please, please, please email you when she requires canceling an appointment. Hopefully this never happens again, but explain that you understand that she must block her number because of her profession, but you are unable to answer calls from anyone who does not identify themselves nor can you risk listening to the voice mail. She may oblige. If not, just risk the cancelled appointment and reschedule when you learn that is the case.

I commend you for not answering that call and for deleting the message. Your are an example to everyone as far as how NC is to be enforced! Be proud of yourself for that!

And, on another note, thank goodness no one got hurt and thank goodness the person you hit was kind and understanding. These all go in your "plus" column!

Day 2, your doing great! And on day 3, you will do great as well! Keep up the good work and stay strong! Happier days are here to come, you'll see.

Hugs

janemarie's picture

Just another day......

May 16, 2012 - 3:13pm — janemarie

Very frustrating!!!!! Ive had plenty of days like this!!!! Your head is all fogged up...cant sleep, eat, concentrate....ugh!!!!! And anything that bad happens....always reverts back to THEM... I understand completely!!!!

Have your cry...vent it out...pick yourself up and dust yourself off and know that this feeling is NOT forever...Take one day at a time and just go with it for now until you can process everything and can think and see things more clearly.....and you WILL!!!!!!

The important thing right now is to believe that it DOES get better!! So for now...allow yourself to feel, allow yourself to get sad, and cry and get angry...its ok!!!

Im sorry for your bad day....tomorrow will be better:)
xoxo

Emmy's picture

Oh yuck

May 16, 2012 - 1:42pm — Emmy

Lousy morning! Can we be your therapists today? That is so hard.

Anyone in any state of mind feels rattled after any kind of car accident. Maybe call someone to get you?

((hugs!))

HelpMeHeal's picture

You don't know it now.....

May 16, 2012 - 1:40pm — HelpMeHeal

.... But someday you are going to look at this morning's events and laugh. You really are!
These guys are the biggest freaks, and have all of us racing around either in a daze or like chickens with our heads cut off (depending on how we wake up). We read, we write, we make our lists, battle with NC, cog. dis., lose our appetites, stay awake at night..... FOR WHAT??!! I ask myself daily, how the he'll did I give someone so much control???? It's such a struggle. Hang in there, friend.

Wutjusthappened2me's picture

Everything you said is what I

May 16, 2012 - 2:02pm — Wutjusthappened2me

Everything you said is what I do. I've been awake since yesterday and I've lost ten pounds. Every bad thing that happens to me I think he did. I ask myself did he set me up to get rear ended. I think did he intimate my therapist. I wonder is he making all of these people around me drive so slow because I'm already late. I hate him so much. I lock every door in my house and still think he's inside. I feel like he's going to kill my dog while I'm at work. I am going crazy.

Emmy's picture

Going crazy - Wut

May 16, 2012 - 2:18pm — Emmy

You are not going crazy. He TRIED to scare you. He TRIED to intimidate you. He did a good job! BUT YOU ARE GETTING BETTER!

I think the same kind of things!! When someone has been making your world insane, it takes time to view things without total fear.

He wanted to be God in your eyes. God controls everything -- maybe even traffic?? Yeah. I hate him so much too.

My son imagines seeing his dad in dark corners and comes running to me (he is a teen!). We have been traumatized.

My other older child told me, a couple months ago when I was still afraid every moment, to do things what were predictable and safe. Like: Read the original Winnie the Pooh stories by A.A.Milne. Pooh is safe. Color with crayons (I am not kidding). Play with a small child who has no evil intentions. Pet animals.

You have to prove to yourself that life is predictable, safe and real when he is not there.

Protect yourself. Nurture yourself. Keep someone with you when you feel afraid. Those things helped me.

((hugs))

Deidre99's picture

but you know what??? YOU'RE

May 16, 2012 - 1:33pm — Deidre99

but you know what??? YOU'RE STILL STANDING. YOU'RE STRONG. A lot went not as planned today...and you are still standing. You're proving that you can make it through each and every day, a better, stronger person.

I am sorry you got into an accident and your therapist canceled. Those two things, do suck, BUT. Such is life. You're feeling especially tuned into a lot of things right now, and when we are vulnerable, we tend to lose a bit of our usual coping skills. BUT AGAIN. You rose to the occasion, and you are here sharing this with us.

Feel good about that. You're stronger than you even know! I'm inspired reading this today.

Hugs though. Everyone needs a hug on days like these!

Wutjusthappened2me's picture

Thank u for giving such

May 16, 2012 - 2:27pm — Wutjusthappened2me

Thank u for giving such awesome advice in a positive and supportive way.

losing the battle's picture

Hugs to you

May 16, 2012 - 3:04pm — losing the battle

I totally understand what you say. I think that he is somehow behind everything bad that I've had to deal with since he left. And there has been lots. We know it makes no sense but he has done this to us.

I'm obsessed with locking the doors too. I want it to end, will it ever end?