Well, it has taken me days to pluck up the courage to post here again, but a dear friend on here PM me and encouraged me to do it.
Yes, i fell off the wagon. BIG TIME.
I feel such an idiot because only a few weeks ago i was singing on here about how great NC felt.
I was at a low about some personal issues, toad, just like flipping magic, happened to hoover just at that time, and i fell for it...hook line and sinker. He pulled out ALL the stops, reverted back to even nicer than the 'honeymoon' stage. I dont need to tell you all the details...you know how it goes.
For 10 days he was the most fantastic bloke in the world, stupid me, thought that i knew enough to be able to handle it. Then WHAM, he pulled away and said 'i dont want full blown relationship, lets just be friends and play it by ear'. So i told him to FO. I WAS DEVASTATED, I AM DEVASTATED. the BASTARD played me yet again. And i feel a complete and utter idiot. It played out EXACTLY as i SHOULD HAVE LEARNED it would do, and i hate myself now.
3 month's nearly of NC ruined. Have to start all over again, and its worse cos i am so angry with myself
. So anyone here thinking of breaking NC...PLEASE PLEASE DONT! cos i can tell you it sucks, worse than any time before. 300% worse.
Climbing back on the wagon girls, feel free to tell me off..but cant promise i wont cry!