I went thru the ID&D with my last partner, abruptly dumped (FB message dump) after trying to bring the roller coaster ride back to a smooth coast. Conveniently, he got rid of me when he ran out of use for me, and stiffed my friend for $50, a steal of a deal on her old (but not that old) washing machine after she agreed to let him take it (since she thought he was such a "sweetheart") on good faith that he would pay her after hooking it up and confirming it worked fine, which she assured him it would. He had just bought a house, and had been living at his brothers while he worked out of town (1 week off, 2 weeks on at a mine), and spent lots of his days with me at my place, particularly the weekends, when I was free. Things were the same after he bought his house, but quickly shifted when his roommates (a couple, so I assumed the arrangement would be girlfriend-friendly...not like a bunch of guys living together) moved in...with all their stuff in the house, I felt like I was walking into a stranger's place, not my boyfriend's any more. Suddenly I was excluded from his social life, and given only "token" invitations to tide me over temporarily, before dumping me all together.
NOW he is 2 months into it with his new Supply, the roommates have moved out, a buddy has moved in, and she is clearly making herself at home in the house I helped him pick out (if not moved in altogether) and she is getting included in all the fun stuff that he felt like I was crowding him from...this girl is doing the availability/cyber smothering look-how-much-fun-we're having type of thing that the engulfment-fearing guy I know would have resented the crap out of..I mean i've been told that his whole wall is covered with posts and tags of HERS.
I'm starting to think that maybe he just wasn't that into me beyond what space i could fill for the moment, and this new one is extra special to get away with actions that would have previously made him feel "confined," as he put it.
Has anyone found that they were wrong and that the asshole behaviour was brought out by nothing more than just somethig in the relationship that was missing?