First of all I really want to thank you Lisa E Scott for this forum! It truly saved me and so did all the MODS and everyone else who helped me on this nightmare journey to save my sanity!
I feel as though I have asked all the questions I can, and had them all answered, I have done all the reading I could get my hands on, I just feel like I don't belong here, I feel as though this nightmare in my life has truly ended, I know he will not contact me anymore, I feel safe, and I have accepted what has been done to me and I now know I can and will move on because I had such wonderful support!
You have all made me so much stronger than I ever thought was possible, I take care of me now. I have learned so much about why I was treated the way I was and why I always felt that if I would just change he would be better, I know that no matter what I did, or how much I changed for him, nothing in this lifetime would have been good enough, I have accepted that it is over and I will move forward...never back!I will miss this place that has been a safe haven for me for a while now. Like I said I just feel like I don't belong here anymore. I will continue to read here from time to time and if I think I can offer some helpful advice I will do so.
To all of you that are just starting you journey and getting out, please listen and hear the advice you are giving, take it all to heart even the tough love, because if you follow through and you stay 100% NC (if you have no kids together) and you cry and beat the hell out of things when your mad, instead of contacting him or her, you will be able to move on with your life. I have never done anything this hard in my life, going NC , I thought I would go crazy, because I ALWAYS WENT AFTER HIM, I ALWAYS CALLED, E-MAILED AND TEXT HIM AND SAID I WAS SORRY I WILL CHANGE, He NEVER once came after me (until this last D&D) and we were together for 7 yrs. He NEVER fought to keep me , he never cherished me , he took me for granted, and yes I am still sad sometimes because I know it is truly over, I loved this man for 7 yrs, but if you ask me what I loved about him , I couldn't tell you! He didn't take care of me or my kids, we didn't live together, I did everything for him , even raised his kids with him. And NEVER got a thank you for anything I did for him.
I now take care of me and my kids and no one else, they are my life and no man will ever come in again and have a chance to destroy my family!
Take care everyone and again THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME MY LIFE BACK!!