While I think they have lots of sources of steady supply, mine at least really "seemed" and I think is a one woman man....course, this does not include excessive porn, flirting, whatever to get other strokes.

But in general, he went from previous woman, to me (came home one night and simply moved in with me...where he stayed for the next 18 years)...until he moved on to new OW after I asked for D. He now, is fully with her.

He needs ONE woman who will be steady source of home, sex (though he is not really very sexual and certainly not sensual), food, water, whatever. But mostly what he needs is validation that he is great....puke

Not only could xnh not stand to be without a relationship, he could not tolerate being alone...period. Xnh's hideous P daughter was the same way. They both drove me nuts with this. I am kind of loner by nature, and I actually LIKE spending time by myself. Their whole goal seemed to be, not only ensuring that THEY are never alone with themselves, but that *I* never got to be alone either.

Xnh and I both used to get every other Friday off because of the way our shifts were set up. Unfortunately, we still work at the same company and have for 20 years now. I had the opposite Friday off from xnh (deliberately) so that *I* could get some rare "alone time" even when we were in a relationship. I treasured that time. Therefore, xnh would find as many excuses as he could possibly think of to take off on MY alone Friday, and mess it up for me. If he he did actually go to work, he would call me (seriously) every hour asking how my day was going, etc. On xnh's Friday off, he used wreck my work day calling me from home while I was trying to work. He literally would call my desk 7-8 times during the day. I would get snotty when I started seeing that it was him on the caller ID, and I would answer the phone saying, "Phone call #6. What do you want NOW?" Xnh was MOST annoying. After I got home from work that day, I would find that xnh had not only called me repeatedly during the day, but he'd also spent HOURS on the phone talking to his narc mommy, his brothers and sister, and his hideous P daughter (and also probably OW, I found out later). I would usually find that xnh had done NOTHING even remotely productive during the entire day. It was like he could not stand to spend one single second alone with himself.

Personally, I think narcs do this deliberately so they don't ever have to really ever look at themselves, and be introspective. They would have to really deal with the ugliness inside them, if they did (HORRORS!!!). Thus, they ensure that they are always so outwardly occupied that they don't have any time to be forced into being alone. It's a way for them to avoid looking at the reality of their hollow, cruel, soulless, interior self.

I always kind of felt it was a similar mentality to what we used as children. The dog would poop on the living room carpet, and Mom would have to pick up the mess (usually after someone steps on it). Then she would tell us kids, "If anyone sees poop on the rug, CLEAN IT UP!!" You could them watch every set of us kid's eyes looking UP at ceiling for quite some time afterward, deliberately NOT looking at the carpet because we didn't want to clean up any dog poop. "Dog poop? What dog poop? I don't see any dog poop?" rofl. It's the same with a narc. "Look at what a horrible person a I really am inside? I don't see anything wrong with ME. I'm too busy bugging everyone else to look inside ME. No way. Not going to happen."

Wow, Goldie, you know the language!

Also to be alone is to self reflect, they have no inner self to be with. Who they are is dependent on outer supply. Imagine!

I think they are all different, I know many cannot be alone,maybe mine was an exception, he doesn't like or need people and is living by himself, a man in his late60's, he can do whatever he wants on his terms only,no need to compromise.let him rot............