I really messed up today

I really messed up today
Posted May 10, 2012 - 9:09pm
0

I messed up. It WAS day 4 of NC and I was lonely (been a bad week and feeling kinda bad because I had called him out on being a narc, called him a human tapeworm,etc and last night I was reading it stems from mother issues and his mon died-I saw the gravestone) and he has been lying about his "roomatee" who is a woman being platonic. While I can believe such a situation exsists but not when she gave him a $30,000 credit card, a pool table, doesn't pay rent and I'm not allowed in the house, and had lead me believe she was originally male. So I said nobody bought his story, it was over and I wished him good luck but i just couldn't buy his story so there would be no reason for him to stop by-he works (since he's been with her not as much) accross the street from my apt. He came back with "so don't buy it then". I know I should of stayed nc but I wanted a friendly good bye, as I've always stayed friendly w/ my ex's instead I got a slap in the face so I texted back and thanked him for showing his true colors and that I was finally over him. I know they say he always comes back but this should do it right ?

‹ Gaslighting Frazzled ›
invisible's picture

RE: Thank you all for your comments on I messed up

May 11, 2012 - 9:17am — invisible

You all are right (BTW Goldie I am still laughing about the term cashcow, although the fact that he has sex with her on the bed I bought him I DO NOT find funny). Thank you everyone for helping me through this-whats done is done and I can't change it. Goldie you were so right about everuthing it's scary. Today is a new day and Day 1 of NC, I would change my phone # but can't right now because I'm unemployed and have alot of resumes out and I don't want to miss out on a job because of this creep (I sold off my last asset otherwise I'd be homeless this month and only have a couple months left so finding a job is #1 right now) but as soon as I find a job the # WILL be changed. Once again, THANK YOU ALL FOR CARING ENOUGH TO COMMENT

goldie's picture

READ

May 11, 2012 - 8:52am — goldie

HI and welcome to the forum. Most of what you are talking about is in the blogs. They are to the left side of the page here, Lisa's Blog, Goldie's Blog, Mod Squad Blog. You may want to spend some time reading and getting familar with how this works.

Also Lisa's book is a great resources and we offer one on one's and support groups, All of that is on the blogs.

This guy is using you because he is bored with the sex with the Cashcow, not to say that they, don't still have sex, don't get me wrong there. Just to say that you are something different for him.

He will continue to seek you out for sex as long as you allow him to. He may also be using you to bitch at because Cashcow most likely does not put up with his bitching.

They need to let off steam, afterall it is exhausting keeping up the pretense with Cashcow. So he takes from her and then takes from you.

This is HOW they work. GET OUT if you do not like to be used. You deserve better than this. HE is NEVER going to leave Cashcow for you. He may leave her for a NEW CASHCOW and this one get tired of his Using of her, he just is not leaving the whole Cashcow busniness for you. He will go from one Cashcoe to a new Cashcow and USE YOU for "filler supply."

God bless,
Goldie

spinning's picture

dearest invisible...

May 11, 2012 - 8:38am — spinning

Every time you break no contact and reach out to your abuser you offer him another golden opportunity to D & D you all over again as evidenced in your post.

Understand this truth and own it at every level and you will never again be compelled to seek anything from him. Rob him of the opportunity to D & D you again by stopping all communication; blocking his number or changing yours and pressing ahead wtih your recovery.

We will help you.

He is not normal. He is a liar and a manipulator and he does not care about you or your feelings. It will just be worse for you now that you have revealed all that you know and believe about him and his disorder. BLOCK HIM NOW.

Hugs to you, dear invisible. Put this behind you and focus on YOU and what it is that you need to do to feel better right now.

Love,
(not) spinning. NO WAY. NEVER AGAIN

invisible's picture

reply

May 10, 2012 - 10:57pm — invisible

Thank you for caring enough to comment, Narc Survivor 3, I am still learning but I do take it seriously this narc has taken of me financially to the point that I've almost ended up homeless, having to do what I have to do jobs (theres more of an explanation in my profile) You are right I am extremely vulnurable I met him right after I lost my mother, husband and job all within 3 months (the job was because i spent too much time in Hospice w/my husband who died of pancreatic cancer-the company called it absenteeism and I used up my FMLA time taking for radiation treatments) as a result of spending all my time care giving, I lost almost all my friends. I don't like ugly endings and since he works so close to me I have run into him before at places like the gas station, etc. I just miss being happy

NarcSurvivor3's picture

You can answer this

May 10, 2012 - 10:26pm — NarcSurvivor3

You're a codependent and Narcs magnetize to you. That's a hard and fast rule. No, this will not be the end of it. You want too much to please him by wanting to have a pleasant goodbye. You have to go no contact and not available in every way, shape, and form that has to take. He will not consider you whatsoever.. .when he needs more supply, he will be back. Question is, do you understand what you are dealing with? It is not a joke. They are sick and destructive. Educate yourself more on this....you sound a little too vulnerable and not yet a believer to me. No offense, I just don't think you are taking this seriously enough and you are going to get hurt even more. Get educated.

Deidre99's picture

NC will end it. Stay strong.

May 10, 2012 - 9:31pm — Deidre99

NC will end it. Stay strong.