Emjbear's Story

So Alone

I dont even know where to begin. A ten year (8 of marriage) to the man I thought would change everything. I got out December 9, 2012, but I am not really out, I am not really safe, my kids are not safe the way I thought they would be.This is my story of just last weekend, and it is the easy part of my ten years:
have a friend who is in a horrible situation. she was married to someone she thought was her soul mate, the man of her dreams but that bubble got popped hard. She has been struggling because she now has a few people in her life who have actually shown her what love is and that is the most wonderful thing but at the same time it confuses everything else. My friend also has this mother that well, shes a handful, and her father, hes a good guy, but he goes straight to anger. My friend knows that he just cares but it makes him impossible too.

So my friend was trying to show her family (not her parents but her "few" that have shown her love) that she is getting stronger and she dropped her kids off at her husbands for thier weekend visit. When she got there she was super nervous but kept repeating words her best friend tells her like you dont have to stay, you dont have to do anything he tells you, you have choice, you dont have to, it wont be whats best for the kids. so my friend was able to get the bags to the porch and had the kids ring the door bell. her husband was being a jerk and wouldnt answer teh door, but she stayed by the car and just kept having the kids ring the bell. when he finally came out she said okay by, and started to walk around to the drivers side of the car. her husband said "What you are leaving like that?" she said she was late for a meeting. THe kids came running over to her and hugged her and she hugged back with everything she had and then got in her car, as she pulled away he whisltled really loud as to call her back. She pressed on the breaks but then heard her best friends voice again saying you dont have to. So she speed off and went home.

within being home for 15 minutes her phone rang and it was her husband. she answered because her son has been sick and wanted to make sure he was ok. It was her husband on the phone and he wanted to know about one of the movies that she sent over. she thought to her self, here we go, with the stupid phone calls, he is pissed that i didnt stay when he wanted and now he is going to do this. about ten minutes or so after that she got another phone call, this time her husband was saying he didnt feel well and didnt know what to do cuz he didnt want to get the kids sicker. she said he probley has the same thing they do since they got it last weekend when they were with him. she told him if he wanted her to get the kids she can. he said he would let her know, then he started texting her telling her what his temp was and she kept saying if you want me to get them i can you will need rest. and he kept saying he didnt know what to tdo he didnt want to hurt the kids. she text back that she would talk with teh kids and they would be fine. so he text and said "Come over". that text scared her. she was not sure why it seemed so scary but it did.

she waiting a few minutes before going over hoping he would have everything packed up when she got there. she drove up to the house and rang the doorbell. he ansewred the door and the kids were no where in site. he said come in and she did. she shouldnt have and she wishes she never had but she did. and the minute she walked in he locked the door. she knew something was wrong. the kids came running to her and took her to see all thier chikcnes in the back garage and he locked the door when they went in. she keept saying ok kids we need to go, lets go.

when they got back into the house she asked where the bags were and he said in her sons room. the kids were still out side playing. she went into sons room he followed. he closed the door. he grabbed her arm, not hard but not soft and with purpose. he very gently pushed her face into the closed door and started touching her boobs. she was shaking but couldnt speak. she just stood there, and then she heard his belt unbuckling and her pants being pulled down. she was trembling but still didnt speak. he rose back up from pushing her pants down and whispered in her ear. between you and me, dont even think of going anywhere with this u have witnesses that will say they were here and nothing happened, your past will come to haunt you. the tears started rolling down her face. he had her left breast squeezed in his very large very big hand. then she felt it on her skin on her back. he leaned into her and whispered, this is between you and me. if you want it again try talking. i have you. she just stood there, she never said no, she just cried. then the pain she didnt know what he was doing but then she felt it and the pain. he stopped after a few minutes turned her around and pushed her to her knees. he shoved it in her mouth. she cried, he said between you and me. you have nothing you wanted me. you came to me. and then the kids made noise and he pulled up his pants and pushed her aside. she pulled her shirt down and her pants up wiped away the tears and grabbed the suitcase.

she said come on kids and started walking out, she got the bags in the car and turned to get the kids and her daughter fell and scraped her knee. he picked her up and she was screaming i want my mommy and he grabbed her tighter and went back inside. she knew she would have to go back inside to get her daughter.when he was putting a bandaid on she looked and her daughter and whispered its ok. he then looked her in the eyes, didnt have to say anything but my firend got the message loud and clear. he then put her daughter in the car and my firend drove home and tried to comfort the kids. she spent the rest of the weekend drinking and taking pills to try and stop her head from thinking aobut it. my friend has made up her mind that the best thing for the kids is to not go anywhere with what happened but just find a way to heal and end this marriage. she needs to protect her kids and she cant do that if she tells. but her friends are struggling cuz they think she isnt fighting or standing up for herself. but she is doing the best she can.

do you have any advise for my friend.