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Deestarr
Member since:
1 year 25 weeks
1 year 25 weeks
Last activity:
8 weeks 3 days
8 weeks 3 days
Help
Posted May 9, 2012 - 12:45am
I have this big urge to contact him. I don't even really have anything to say?? I just feel like.... Oh is that it? After two and a half years, absolutely no contact??
I blocked him on fb last week, which is good cause I don't see what he's up to but also seeing what he was up to made me sad and angry and it made me not want to contact him.... But now as stupid as it sounds.... It's been quiet for a while and I'm now thinking ... Oh how bad can one text be??
I'm posting here to get your advice before I do something stupid.
Help.
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We are not certified mental health professionals and this site and message board is in no way a replacement for professional therapy, legal or medical advice.
CONTACT = PAIN HUNTER
May 9, 2012 - 7:14am — HunterCONTACT = PAIN
HUNTER
You've Been in Contact With Him
May 9, 2012 - 5:07am — Renegadeall along. You haven't been physically with him in 2 1/2 years, but you haven't been out of contact, either. You're going through withdrawal - what you would have felt if you'd ceased ALL contact with him in the beginning. Viewing facebook pages is a form of contact.
Stay NC completely with him - you will get through this phase - you just delayed it is all.
I am where you are. I
May 9, 2012 - 4:45am — redI am where you are.
I understand this feeling sooooo well. I'm feeling it too but with everyones help from here I'm fighting it.
It's not easy at all, here's what I've been doing, I hope it might be able to help you too.
I tried to contact him many times during his silent treatment and he never once answered the phone, never once called me back, never once replied to my messages.
I stopped calling and texting. I have managed to stop by thinking of him looking at his phone when it's ringing and seeing my name. I was not deemed worthy of answering, he discarded me, he couldn't be bothered to talk to me.
Someone who loves you WOULD answer the phone and give a simple reason for why they can't talk in that moment.
Someone who gives a damn WOULD call you back.
He is making us invisible, small, insignificant with this behaviour. How dare he cancel me completely with this ST.
I'll do the same to him. I think it botheres him, even just a bit, that I've stopped calling him. I won't degrade myself like he did.
Try not to do it. Try to think that you have a value, you are not a toy to be picked up and played with when he feels like it, just to be kicked into a corner later because he feels like it.
Hugs, Red.
Please don't do it
May 9, 2012 - 2:02am — HopeGloryIf you haven't already read my post regarding contact equaling emotional and mental suicide, then please read it.
'How bad can one text be?' - very very very bad. Do you really want to ride the rollercoaster once again. I promise you that each time you break NC, they will try harder to break you down. I WAS an empty shell at the end of it all. I had lost complete grasp of reality.
Keep him blocked sweetie. I have blocked everyone associated with him now and life is so much clearer. I am finally out of the fog, and I see him for exactly what he is, and believe me, its not a pretty sight.
Stay NC, and I promise you that things will get better. I have days when I could have thrown myself out of the window. I had panic attack after panic attack, hyperventilated and much more, but I have got through it, and I am on the other side now, and the sun is shining, and life is good.
I know I keep repeating myself, but please please stick to NC. You are doing brilliantly.
Lots of love
Hope xxxx
Thank you
May 9, 2012 - 7:45am — DeestarrThank you to you all for your comments.... Ive gotten thru the night with no contact and tomorrow is a new day :)
I think I'm struggling with the feeling that my 2.5 year relationship was just like a dream? ( bad one at that)
Guess its closure I'm looking for which I know I won't get. Maybe it's time to write my goodbye letter to him? Might post it on here... Also feel like I want to warn the ow too but I know that will get me no where too so I might write a letter to her too (and might post it on here)
Just got lots of crazy emotions going on and I feel like I'm not getting them out? How do you all deal with this?
x
Deestar
May 9, 2012 - 8:12am — Janie53Glad you are feeling better. It feels to me as though you haven't quite 100% accepted what he is. If you did, you wouldn't have any desire to any anything to do with him. Work on that small 1%, when you hit the 100% mark, you will know it.
Leave the OW alone, feel sad for her but we can only save ourselves, something else I learned on my journey.
You have been doing great, keep it up!
Stay true to you!
xoxoxo
Janie
Play that out.. so you
May 9, 2012 - 1:56am — tootsgeePlay that out.. so you contact him .. then what ...... you just allow the abuse cycle to begin all over again.... you know there is no other ending to that scenario right??? contact=pain.... NC=freedom, peace and self love....love yourself today! (())xx
Hold tight for a bit longer
May 9, 2012 - 1:16am — CostaI vote no. Whatever you do, No for now. Have another think about it, and you might decide against contact later.
The thing is, there's no going back, once you've unbroken contact.
I haven't unfriended my N on FB, and its just sooo frustrating. It takes my mind off what is/was wrong, and back into the What-ifs etc. Whereas my mind should be 100% on solely my own progress forward.
At least Pause until some further advice turns up.