fake crying. I've never seen anything like it. And he had told me that he hadn't cried since his father commited suicide (15 years ago). And then he was crying to me -- tears running down his face -- that he loved me, but the tears were fake. So I called him on it and it was like shutting off a faucet. It completely freaked me out.

I hardly ever saw mine cry and there were barely tears when he did. He cried when his dad died and when our dog died. He used to try to comfort me when I cried but later in our relationship he would just ask me if I wanted him to hold me.

Over the 19 years we were together, mine cried a LOT. He was an A-list actor (well, not really, but he could be) and he always used his tears to his advantage. To me, that's more evil than not crying at all.

Mine never cried and didn't like for me to cry either!

like a broken toddler at the drop of a hat. Huge, disturbing sobbing fits that usually were brought on whenever I asked a question or pointed out something that troubled me.

He did it, like he did his pounding on himself) to deflect from the issue at hand and to turn whatever was happening into All About Him and calming him down, making him feel better, etc. etc.

Initially I bought into it. Toward the end I was completely unmoved. It was very disturbing and most unattractive. I have never ever seen a grown man sob and weep like that.

The one time I prompted a non-disordered man to cry because of something terribly hurtful I said (to my ex-husband) it disturbed me for days...still does. Freak Boy's tears were fake and self-serving. The mere memory of it makes me want to gag.

I might add he was diagnosed as borderline with schizophrenic tendencies. I learned this after the final D & D from his ex (a conversation I regret having). She had tried to warn me earlier but of course I didn't believe a word of it, he told me she was the crazy one. And he was, after all, a cop, so he passed the psych test. That's scary...later the ex told me she helped coach him as to appropriate affects and responses. He didn't even go to the police academy until he was age 32. It was his third professional career...I might also add he has a master's degree in psychology.

One time when he and I were talking about a Detroit police sergeant who had gunned down his Detroit cop wife when they agreed to meet at a public library (she did everything right...agreed to meet in a public place...he shot her in the back as she was walking away then he sat in his car for an hour before killing himself), I was so insensed by it and so upset and angry (cops are FREAKS, no offense to anyone), I said "I can't believe he passed the psych test!" and Freak Boy looked me straight in the eye and said "I passed the psych test." It was as if he was admitting how f'ed up he was...if only I would have listened to my gut and the chills I got when that was his response.

Whatever. So glad it's history. Sorry for the long rant. Some of these things still crop up after 18 blissful months out! By the way, the Detroit sergeant was also on the cop show 48 hours. His selfish cowardly actions orphaned a 10 year old boy. Ugh.

I will never ever again ignore the red flags. Even the slightly pink ones. Never ever again.

Sincerely,
(not) spinning. THE SICK FREAK WAS DIABOLICAL, BUT HE COULDN'T TAKE ME DOWN!

Guilt tears were the only ones he shed.....when I was in bits when he was leaving us - I said I couldn't make him love me anymore, he cried, said he was sorry but his feelings had dimished 5 months before. Nice of him to carry on letting me live a lie for 5 months whilst he got himself a new job so he could afford to live without me. He hated showing any emotion - he said I him unhappy, he settled for me and he didn't like me - well right back at you sunshine!!

He obsessively watched chick flicks (weird!), lived in the fantasy of "ideal love", always watching reruns of Love Actually, Four Weddings and a Funeral and Holiday - reckoned he was like Jude Law - think he's an N too!!!!

oh yes he cried .. when I went NC for the first time we broke up.... it was all bollocks though and a way to hoodwink me into going back to him... xx

My ex fiancee N cried...he cried over his behavior at times, how he treated me when being a jerk, he cried when he left for bootcamp, he cried when he returned, he cried when his father cried, he cried when he left the very last day of our relationship...he cried and said "I am sooo sorry". He cried when we discussed how devastated my son would be not having his "stepdad" around...but not sobbing, more like watery eyes and he would get red, but not boo hoo hoo'ing. He actually had a pretty good array of emotions, I even thought he was way more introspective than any other N I had been with (exNH NEVER cried, but ex Nbf cried a little at times). After he left, he was COLD AS ICE...no SHRED of EMOTION AT ALL, completely dismissive of my feelings...it was ALL ABOUT HIM!!!
-luvapug

Millions of times...but when I cried he just stood there grinning...

My stbxNPDh has cried. But only for himself and his pain. Never any empathy for me or mine.