Feeling so sad and used tonight (pms as well). Feel like I've completely wasted 15 years of the best years of my life on a loser and user. He doesn't care. He's fine. Nothing affects him.
I'm 39 now, three kids... I stay home while he takes off to Sydney for the weekend to play in his old band. Comes back all energised from his major supply hit - wants to see the kids and no doubt re-live all the great moments of the weekend.
While I....ran the kids to all their sporting events, had their friends over for sleepovers, took them to the movies, made them meals, washed their clothes, wrote 75 report cards, fed the bastard's dogs (even though he didn't even bother asking me too, but I knew otherwise they would have starved the entire weekend - and do you think I'll even get a thank you? don't even bother answering that - it's a rhetorical question)....
And for all that - I get "Mom, can we sleep at Dad's house tonight? We missed him SO much!!"
This bastard didn't even call his kids ONCE this weekend.

God, I hope karma exists. All I want is to see some retribution, I want to see him PAY. I want to see him HURT. I pray his hair will fall out.

I try to keep myself sane by telling myself "It's okay. It doesn't matter that people keep enabling him. It doesn't matter that he's a complete selfish git and still nothing bad ever happens to him. You wouldn't go back to him for all the money in world anyway, so what does it matter??"
I don't know - it still matters.

chance to see the exnarc after 3 years out last fall and was i stunned, I had asked the universe /God to give me some closure and got it when I ran into him by accidnet at a store and was stunned to see how he had aged, looked so old and when I called his name out loud in the store, in shock, he turned his head with a total lack of expression, a blank, dumb, vacant look and I got my answer. Boy did he make a beeline out of that store a real fraidy cat............

hits their lives.... in fact I know one way it did for sure.... He lost one of best thing that could have happened in his life.......He lost me. LOL

Seriously, I wondered about that myself. The only way I can deal with it is by telling myself it not my concern.
I believe in karma, reaping what we sowed, I just won't be around to see it happen in his life.

hugs
ff

It all comes out in the wash.

God bless,
Goldie

They know there is something wrong with them. They are always putting on an act. You would never know the rage they feel inside from the turns their lives take. While they put on the show, they are inwardly raging about being financially drained with child support payments, divorce settlements and the money they now need to spend of their own to keep their steady supply on the line. The enemies of women they rack up takes it's toll on how they live their life. Sometimes they pick the wrong people. Sometimes they accidentally let out little "tells" about their rage when they are caught and cast out on their own. Their problem is they always think they can find someone that will let them get away with their crap. It's part of their disorder and the fast path to the karma they know is coming their way. They know it's coming, it's just another game to them to try to avoid it and outbeat it. You have to step outside of the relationship and take a real look at their life and their future of repeating the cycle again and again.

They know there is something wrong with them. They are always putting on an act. You would never know the rage they feel inside from the turns their lives take. While they put on the show, they are inwardly raging about being financially drained with child support payments, divorce settlements and the money they now need to spend of their own to keep their steady supply on the line. The enemies of women they rack up takes it's toll on how they live their life. Sometimes they accidentally let out little "tells" about their rage when they are caught and cast out on their own. Their problem is they always think they can find someone that will let them get away with their crap. It's part of their disorder and the fast path to the karma they know is coming their way. They know it's coming, it's just another game to them to try to avoid it and outbeat it. You have to step outside of the relationship and take a real look at their life and their future of repeating the cycle again and again.

I too always ponder this question... But the more I read and learn about this disorder the more I believe that there karma is having to live with themselves everyday..

Imagine what a mindfield there heads must be in, with all the concussion and drama they create
Mine said he didnt have anyone else when we split cause he didn't have the head space!
Whislt I don't believe he didn't have other supply, I do believe what he said about not having enough head space...

I believe each cause has an effect, each action has a reaction, with all the wrong they do and pain they inflict I think karma does get them, in ways we would never see or know about... Perhaps the daily torment they live with inside there minds..

We know through spending time with them what incredible actors they are, we also know things are not as they appear behind closed doors, and what the outside see is very different...

I think it's like that for them daily in the heads... They act happy, fine, content, whatever cause the have to, if they didn't they would probably wither away and die...

But inside there mind and head I believe the suffer every minute of there misearble life...
They never get to experience real love, real compassion, real care...

People leave them, they have no stability in there life and they know when they die, there may be one or two people at there funeral, they will most like die, old bitter and alone!
That's some karma!

Just my opinion and thoughts of the subject!

My psychopath ex bf that is currently in prison named his youngest son Karma. Actually I don't know if he or his son's mother named the boy. Either way, ironic. He was always talking about how karma would eventually catch up with him. I don't know if it was part of his pity pleas or if he honestly believed it.

I think I've seen it!! after my abrupt D&D my narc, within 2 months, got rejected by his first choice of OW, AND fired from his job!!! Posting on FB (publicly, we are not friends but i still creep him...bad, I know)how he was figuring out his rights being let go with "no notice, and no reason.."...uh...what?? Funny that it happened, and funny that he can only recognise an unfair discard when it happens to him...then when the girl blew him off, his update he had the nerve to post about how luck and karma were just not with him this week, and how he was slipping into a darkness and about to do some binge drinking, boo hoo the worst month of the year...
Fast Forward 5 months, the roommates who were SO much more important than I was, moved out..found 1 replacement, maybe priming the new OW to move in and help pay his mortgage that his jobless ass on employment insurance that must be running out in the next couple months can't afford!!!

OH YES KARMA GETS THEM...and will keep getting them because they fail to see the part where good karma brings back more good karma!!!

just makes me wonder what the hell did I do to get the bad karma of meeting and falling for what turned out to be HIS useless ass?????

The worst of the NARCS think bad Karma follows them everytime they aren't getting enough supply. Rather than take responsibility they lay blame on whatever current woman is in their life. I have never seen such a group of "woe is me" Martyrs in my life. Haven't you ever noticed that they think its bad Karma if they get behind a slow person while driving. There entire life is bad karma according to the griping sniping snarky SOBs. It only appears that Karma doesn't get them.. but the truth is BAD Karma lives within them.!

their karma is the fact that they have to wake up with themselves.. every day. for the rest of their lonely, dark, miserable lives.

I sometimes feel like a bad person wishing that he would pay for everything that he did..I´m a very spiritual person..and usually not the kind to wish wrong to others, but i think it might be just normal to feel like this sometimes.

I immigrated to the US just after I graduated as an Architect in my native country in Central America. I had a chance to work with a firm in Miami through a working visa, I was kind of living the American dream..working hard but moving ahead in a promising career. I was a single mom back then of a 3 year old daughter. I was happy with what I had accomplished in my life so far and that’s when I met him.
He seem to be like fallen from heaven…a handsome and good hearted man, looking to settle down, with values and dreams like mine, he too was an inmigrant , an industrial engineer and graphic designer from Colombia –south america, and he too had the chance to work with a company in the US. We met; we fell in love and got married after a few months from dating. My daughter became his…they seem to have connected and nothing made me more happy than the fact that I have found my soul mate and my future seem really bright. Nothing could´t go wrong.
The first years we were really happy: we was really caring, loving, warm towards me and my daughter, who by then became OUR daughter. As time went by I started to see the red flags that we all deny to see. His relationship with his parents was extremily toxic for our marriage…they usually emotionally manipulated him over money..and his mom..whom now I don´t really doubt that she is also a narcissist started to show her true colors as well, but back then he was a victim of his parents abuse.
One day out of the blue, someone knocked on our door to let us know that he was being deported back to Colombia.His case had been denied. I was in shock!! To make story short…they took him and I did what I could to get him out, but it was useless. So by the end of that month (xmas) he was back in his country and he was debasted for us to be apart. I decided that we were a family and he the man I loved,and in no way was more important any material things over us being together again. So guess what? I quit my job..quit my visa.., shipped all our belongings , took my things and my daughter and took the first plain I could to Colombia.
First of all it was a strange country for me but I tried really hard to fit in, it was back then when he started to work 24/7, he had managed to keep his job with the company in US but working from Colombia as an outsourcing…it was the beginning of his withdrawing. At the beginning I thought it was just stress…but the times were longer and longer everytime. By then I started feeling lonely but tried to be supportive. That year I got pregnant and had a miscarriage by the 6th week. It was then that I started to see the changes more and more often. I never received his emotional support during all the grieving, he pretended like nothing happened..and was really cold towards my suffering. I felt more lonely than ever and got in to a deep depression which was the final struck to see his real true self. By then him I was submitted to the ignoring treatment most of the time. I was treated like if I was a retared none able to do anything right…I was frustrated because I could not get a job nor even received any real interest from his part to help me get one or help me get on track in the new place with the new people,since I was a foreign in that country. It was all about him by then..he bragged about the good job he had..the fact that he could travel to other countries for business trips..and all the superficial bullshit that people in his world worships. I was became his shadow, the trophy wife..It was mostly only in front of other people that he treated me in a good way or talked to me, he loved prentending we were OK…by then I was becoming really ill..mentally and physically.
When I started to rebel…he confused me acting thoughtful again…buying us some fancy vacation trip, or some kind of gift or just acting like he did in the beginning warm and caring , doing things for me like cooking, taking me out for a couple of days and then back to the same shit….the isolation of the fucking IGNORING TREATMENT.
I was really low in my depression..read like crazy trying to figure out to to fix things..the more I tried the more down I felt.We went to thepary..and he managed to convince the therapist that everything was only because of my depression, he was fine..our marriage was fine. I was seen things. So was prescribed some medications and It was then like something snapped and realized that I needed to helpmyself..I did snapped and realized that I needed to helpmyself..I did not take medications but started a EDM treatment which helped me a lot. So I started to feel better…and he started to act full time without pretending. He truly transformed. He started to do things intentionally to hurt me…He had an affair..I was debastated. He then put the mask on for a while..and tryied to turn things around. He asked me for sometime alone..he needed me to travel to give each other sometime off to see if we could “work in our marriage”. Gosh I feel so stupid now!! He thought me in to getting back to my country with my daughter, while we figured a way to maybe settle there. “He needed time to think”. I needed so much to belive him.
So I left with my daughter and with only a few things….meantime…he started to withdraw again…and I suffered so much expecting to see what he promessed. It was like he threw a bone once in a while to keep me waiting. Parallel to this he was always kind and loving to my daughter..which made me more stuck to the idea that he was really being honest, nonetheless , he called her..talked to her, while ignoring me.
He then got in a fight with his boss over a raise…and ended up quitting out of pride. He then got back to talking to me all kind and concerned as always…he swore that as soon as he got financially better he would take his things and move to with us to my country (where I am now).
I must say that he always remained economically responsible sending us money. He was really depressed , he like me,was not able to find a good job…or not the type of Ego booster job that he had. After 7 months of giving him emotional support , being there for him like always…he finally got his job back and flew to Nicaragua to see us.
Supposedly to plan our new life together, he promised the fairy tale ending, I thought God had listened to my prayers..He spent a month here and promised to be back in 3months after he had sold our things and gathered the money for us to start a new beginning here.
So he left..and I waited..and he started the withdraw again after only 2 months..and to my surprised only weeks from the date when he supposedly was to be here… He even didn’t have the balls to be honest..I was the one who confronted him to set the record straight…and that pissed him off, He dumped me over the phone without any remorse..he was a complete asshole..and acted like he didn’t give a shit.
Days after I begged, he anwer by saying some stupid bullshit about he loving me so much..but he could not be happy If he moved back with us, for he couldn’t risk no being able to provide for us. Therefore he rather sacrifice himself staying away from us. He ended the email by saying: Im sorry that im causing you all of this pain, I hate myself for it. I love you both with the bottom of my heart.
And So…I begged again! Begged him to reconsider..asking him for forgiveness if I ever didn’t understood him enough…or made him feel loved enough…
I called, and guess what I received the most insensitive response ever..he was cruel…and made it very clear that he no longer wanted anything with me..he wanted to see other people.he really broke my heart even deeper!
The next day..I receive an aim in my bb from him acting like if nothing had happened….which I did not answer..i took the courage that I didn’ have for the last torturing 2 years and deleted him..from every where..and it was painful but decided to end up with at least some dignity if I still had some..and went No contact since then.
Since then I have not talked to him at all..i decided he could have all the things..for I do not care to fight for it..i do not want to have any contact with him what so ever.
Since then..he still cares for my daughter..calls her..talks to her , I have allowed this since to my daughter hi is really her dad..she truly loves him..and it would break my heart to break hers.He remains sending money every month…which I take only because I need to by the moment…but trust me I wish I didn’t at all. If in any case he needs to address me regarding any money issue, I only allow it by email..and my responses are YES, NO or ok. That’s all.
He has another woman now..in fact he dumped me beacuse of her..she is the typical barbie steriotype. He got himself a new look..a new car..a raise..travels..etc. So now by now can you can imagine why I ask about karma!
I probably have been brave at least at the end..but I must confess that I have struggle everyday to break my addiction and codependency. I have seen the darkest days of my life…cried myself to sleep like a little girl…and fight the blame that he made me believe I had in all of this. I stared to looked for answers…trying to soothe my heart..and I found this website which has been a real blessing!
Thank You all for your support…I truly hope we all heal and be happy someday soon…God bless You all.