So I've been almost 3 weeks NC and today I open one forum that he was on to find that he changed his profile pic to one where he shows his bare chest and shows off his muscles (we actually had an argument about this photo before when he put it up because I wondered why he'd put it as his profile pic, plus a female he knew apparently took it) and with that pic he had this quote about consciousness and humanity and all this nice spiritual stuff, defining himself as "life force energy moving"
What a stupid thing to do to even look up the stuff he posts because I'm sitting in my office nearly in tears and feeling a mix of sadness and rage, wondering who he's setting up the stage for and trying to impress with his talk that does NOT match his actions one bit.
How can someone that talks all this consciousness and spirituality violate another being on all levels. The abuse I endured from this m-f-er on all levels (mental, emotional, physical, sexual, financial) is beyond what I can describe in one post. Please excuse my venting but I'm feeling like my mind is about to blow up and my heart is heavy that he has the audacity to post this photo and all this talk and list a bunch of countries that he's met women from and been with. I know what he's doing and I know as we speak, someone is probably being conned and sucked into this madness by all his talk.
I also wonder if he's changed and that someone else perhaps will get to see him in his evolved and better personality, but I guess perhaps not, because I did hear all this talk and spiritual stuff only to be abused, lied to, disregarded, and confronted with some of the most cruel and inhumane mental abuse I have ever come across. silent treatment turned out to be a treat compared to the stuff he dished out that was making me on the verge of losing everything in my world...
I'm just upset right now. I know I should not even look at anything related to him because it will only bring me heartaches but I'm also certain that by not looking, the pain does not simply go away, the wondering is there. knowing he's just lining up someone else, charming them with his pic of his body, his conscious quotes and all his reference to the countries from which he screwed different women, it makes me nauseous to think about it...arggggggghhh