ruby01--Good point. Parts of this have been so pathetic and ridiculous as to be laughable. Hopefully the humour of the current situation (new OW in our small office--triangulation going on involving me) helps soften some of the anxiety I'm feeling.

Stuck in "check" mode--that's it. Not able to get away or avoid feeling triggered on a daily basis (right now they seem to have disappeared for a lunch or a lunchtime "get together"). Unfortunately, it's very tough to go NC when the Narc is a co-worker.

He thinks he's pretty smooth and that he's covered all his bases so as not to get caught cheating right now. I guess it will come home to roost, but for now he seems to roll along from one woman to another....

Hoping for better days....

This is jus brutal, having to work with the two of them. Seeing it all in front of me and dealing with him is hell.

Yesterday, his first day back from his whoring trip essentially, he tried talking to me a few times when the new woman was out of the office. Typical. He offered me some materials for a project I'm working on and joked about some things. I was brief and polite but remote, as this all happened in front of other people.

But he knew I was on to him and his recent escapades--it showed in my face and tone. Today he spoke to the colleague behind me and came into my area and sneered a greeting toward me. I had refused his help yesterday the second time he came by to offer it and wasn’t overly friendly when he said goodbye.

So now he’s reacting. But what upsets me is that today I had to witness the two of them come in from what I suspect was a lunch out. I was away for the morning, and I think he thought I wouldn’t notice or know they'd gone out. This is what he and I used to do—-go out for lunch. It's hurting me, despite the despicable things I know about him and the fact that he’s messing around right under everyone’s noses here at work. I can’t seem to get past some of the pain, although I know he’s a fake and an impostor.

Now I see he has gone home—desk packed up. He didn’t say goodbye. He used to do this before when he felt spurned and wanted to get back at me. But because of this other woman, I automatically think he’s left with her.

Thank you. That's a good way of looking at it/him/them.

It is definitely time for a change--here's hoping.

Not at the moment. People don't move much in my org. I'm applying outside the company but there aren't many positions.

Dealing with the first OW two years ago nearly did me in. Overall I'm much better now--sometimes I go for long stretches without feeling much pain. But it helped that the first OW got dumped and then just left our office. I could see he wasn't getting his way (more action), and I was basically keeping my distance while he tried to get back in my good graces.

But now there is a newer woman. Ex-N has been trying to play the two of us off of each other for over a year now. At other times, he keeps us separate (e.g,. won't say hi to me until she steps out of the office). She resents my presence and has made me a rival.

I thought he was just seeking attention from her, but I was "whammied" last week when I overheard someone say that she went with him overseas. He kept that part hidden from me. It has triggered me big-time (pain, jealousy, anger, disgust, anxiety). Really having to work to calm myself down and breathe.

He has fooled people at the office once again--they think he's the golden boy. Meanwhile he is messing around with one person after another: the patten is becoming very clear. I just didn't expect this one (this new woman didn't seem his type).