I was SO full of myself when I was with him. During our relationship, a woman showed up at our door. Once to leave him a note that I never got to see and a couple of weeks later she showed up again. I answered the door and he was on the floor next to me against the wall, out of her view, with his knees drawn up to his chest, scared to death. Even THEN I believed that he was faithful to me and she was just some unhinged chick from his past that had a crush on him and was bothering HIM. Because he would never cheat on me - he loved me. But even then, I remember wanting to kick him while he was on the floor, because that reaction of his made me sick. I also never really trusted him again, though I did a marvelous job of consciously lying to myself - my subconscious wasn't buying any of it.
He told me she was a 'friend' he knew from back in the day. That she'd always had a crush on him, but nothing ever materialized. He also told me that he went to a very prestigious private tech high school in the city. Well guess what I found last night on Classmates.com?
"Bensenville Community High School" <-- public school in the suburbs, not a private technical school in the city
"Class of 1984" <--I graduated high school in 1984 - he's a year older than me - this means he was held back (he told me once he had to go to summer school to keep from being held back in junior high)
Member Since: Jun 13, 2007 <-- this is the around the same time this girl started showing up. He went to high school with her, obviously. His parents lived in this suburb up until shortly after he and I started dating - his name is unusual enough that it is virtually impossible that there would be another guy with his name going to a school where his parents lived and graduating within a year of when he should have graduated.
He joined Classmates.com while we were dating so he could find her. He probably found her on there and joined the site. that MOTHERFUCKER!!!!
There is nothing I hate more than being lied to. NOTHING. I hate that I ignored my instincts back then. I feel like such a fool! I always said I wouldn't accuse him until I had proof - now that I have the smoking gun, I can slam the book closed on that piece of it at least.
And yes, this qualifies as contact. It's the not knowing for sure that has tortured me a lot since our split. Now I know for sure - I finally have complete closure and that little bit of pain was 100% worth it to me.
I will never ever ever ever ever EVER ignore my instincts again.