So after 2 days NC, I broke it. Spent most of the weekend with him. Normally I would just avoid coming on here and just try to pretend it's going to be ok. So I am the hoover. Wonder if I have a rock bottom. No excuse, guess I am just not ready. My bottom seems bottomless. I like to try and convince myself that he will change by avoiding the reality, so this time I am going to stick around here and try not to pretend that there is going to be a fairytale ending with him.