watch what you wish for.

watch what you wish for.
Posted May 2, 2012 - 5:13pm
0

Anyone out there who is indirectly and secretly hoping for a hoover experience. watch what you wish for.
My x N hoovered indirectly through a letter to my Mom, talking about missing me and how sorry he is about everything...blah, blah, blah. Well I'm here to tell you
that 4 months out of this crazy messed up relationship this hoover brought me to my knees in missing the illusion.
I have been emotional on and off all day today and my nerves are shot....All it takes is a few words from them and we can start spinning again. I know I am...
Its an awful feeling and like everyone on this forum says, just when you are starting to get a grip on your life again...they strike!!!!

I will not break NC over this and nothing will change as to what I've been doing to pull the pieces of my life back together after tornado Narc hit....

Hoovers are not flattering and they are not proof that they love us...Its proof that they still want to see how much control they have..I will give him NONE....

‹ Hoovering. Will it happen? How can I protect myself? Day 30 NC ›
Journey's picture

Exactly! All a hoover does is

May 2, 2012 - 8:36pm — Journey

Exactly! All a hoover does is confuse our emotions and keep the fog rolling in... no good comes from it - especially if we are sad and missing the illusion.

The best thing to shoot that illusion out of the sky is NC, only then does the fog dissipate enough to REALLY see clearly.

Stay strong Pamela11!!

Janie53's picture

Pamela

May 2, 2012 - 8:26pm — Janie53

Great and true advice!
Keep staying true!

Janie

neverlookback's picture

Hoovering

May 2, 2012 - 6:30pm — neverlookback

means - he is not done destroying you yet -

BtrflyGrl's picture

All about Control

May 2, 2012 - 6:12pm — BtrflyGrl

You know, I never thought I was being controlled. Though everybody around me did. I thought I was just dedicated and loyal and honest and true. Thinking back I realize he didn't file for divorce from his last XW until I told him I wouldn't see him otherwise. He said she needed the medical coverage...really? Did my getting sucked in end her medical issues?

My cellphone is under his contract. He wanted me to have it so, you know, we could still be in touch. Because I was cool and all to hang out with. I asked him, so how long are we going to remain friends? Until your new girlfriend tells you it is unacceptable?

He left it for me because he wants that control. He doesn't care if he fucking dumped me like a bag of rotten oranges, he just wants to know he still has something over my head. Some power over my life.

I'm pretty certain he will shut down service without notice at some time, but until then he can pay my fucking phone bill. He can see who I call, he can read my texts. I don't give a fuck. He is a fucking pig, and I'll be paying a long time for all the damage he's done. FUCK THAT GUY!

FIGHTINGBACK's picture

Thank you

May 2, 2012 - 5:21pm — FIGHTINGBACK

Thank you for this post....4 days NC and still wishing for some hoovering...thank you for your sobering reminder of the torment of the spin cycle and how just one word can send you head first into it. It is hard enough to get through a day with all of my realization emotions let alone adding that to the list. THANK YOU!

Brit's picture

everything they say

May 2, 2012 - 5:32pm — Brit

everything they say holds a mixed message or is a big fat lie.

He had you and didnt value you. He had his chance and he messed up big time.

The hoovers are about getting more flesh from your bones. Beyond cruel. They may succeed in getting you back only so that they can destroy you all over again. It's so not a compliment or any sign whatsoever that they want you, need you or love you, its always always about them and what they can get.

DON'T YEARN FOR ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO BE DESTROYED.

Brit x