did the same thing to me, seldom if ever waited for me,especially when we were doing shopping ,once i was battling a crippling disease and walking slowly and he said hurry up old lady...lots of empathy wrong........sometimes when we took walks he would walk with me and we held hands, but other times he would just go on by himself when i said i was getting tired...

Xnh used to do this kind of thing to me on a regular basis. Yes, you are correct. It is yet another way for the narc to devalue and put us down. It is VERY hurtful (and I'm quite sure they KNOW it is hurtful - that why they do it).

My xnh pushed this so far as to sit down somewhere and "forget" to leave a seat for me fairly often. One time I was on a cruise ship with xnh, his narc mommy, and his youngest daughter. The ship could not dock in one of the ports we visited, so we had to tender to shore on a smaller boat. It was very crowded getting onto the boat. Xnh, his mommy, and his daughter pushed ahead of me, went over to an "el primo" bench on the outside of the boat, and blithely sat themselves down. Xnh sat himself between his mommy and daughter. Therefore, I KNOW he never had any intention of saving me a seat. I was totally ignored and left to fend for myself. Thus, I got stuck in a seat in the middle of the boat in a crowd of people I didn't know. One really obnoxious man (probably another narc. lol.) was taking so many pictures with his camera that he apparently couldn't be bothered to look at anything else. He sat down on the bench right on top of me. The mind boggling part (to me) was that even AFTER he sat down, this dirt bag just tried to stay sitting there. I had his big, fat butt smashing my lap. No "excuse me". No "I'm sorry". Nothing. He just STAYED sitting on top of me. I got pissed off and finally yelled at this jerk to get the f*ck off me. This seat WAS already occupied by ME. He gave me a filthy look and finally left.

After we all got off the tender, I caught up with xnh, his mommy, and his daughter (running after them every inch of the way, of course, because they just left me behind without a second thought). At this point, I was really ANGRY and I told xnh that chivalry was definitely DEAD in him, and that the LEAST he could have done was save a seat for his WIFE. He was NO gentleman." He got pissed off, called me "f*cking b*tch" and then told that *I* just loved to ruin everything for HIM. He then tried to tell me that it was all just "an accident" and he had just "forgotten" to save me a seat. Liar.

Gosh, reading this story, I'm clearly remembering what a true asshole xnh was to me. To him, I was "just the wife". Xnh actually said this to me, and then he couldn't figure out WHY I said I knew I was never a priority to him, right before I threw his sorry narc-hole ass out of my house. Now, I wake up every day and thank GOD that I'm rid of him. After writing this, I think I'll even say it again right now. THANK GOD I'M RID OF HIM. I am SO much better off and every day is so much happier without him anywhere in my life. :) :) :)

ITS THEIR WAY, OR NO WAY!

NCNCNC

TW

Mine was quite the contrary. Impeccable manners all around. Their behaviors may be different; their motives the same!

Stay true!
Janie

He just kept on walking

The last actual exercise walk we took together was in January. Of course as usually he was mentally in a bad place (always the excuse) and suffering from severe anxiety (as usual). It was dark, wet with some ice. We started out on our walk and with 5 minutes he was ahead of me not stopping once to wait for me to catch up. I got stuck at a red light and had to wait. Do you think he turned around and stopped and waited for me - nope - he just kept on trucking...we walking for 45 mins. with me that far behind him. I think he turned once to see if I was still there. When we got back to the house he turns to me and says "quite mild out isn't it". When we sat down on the couch to talk, I called him on his detachment and inability to be a true "partner". He moved out on the sly (told everyone but me) a week later. Of course he has been in and out of my life since then...I want you, I don't blah blah blah. During one discussion, he actually brought up the walk and blamed his decision for moving out on my talking to him about his lack of caring/engagement etc. because don't you know he was mentally hanging on by a thread and I should have realized that and kept my mouth shut.

Wow when I read the "technical" terms of a narcissist I have questioned whether he really was one but when I read all the blogs and examples and situations, I am absolutely 100% convinced that this nice, calm, quiet, afraid of his own shadow man I was with is a COVERT NARC....I see him everywhere on this site. He has never been physically abusive nor have I seen the rage but every NARC does not possess every characteristic either especially if they have other PD's as well.

4 Days of No Contact - YAY ME!

The ex used to say to me and his son "come on kids" it used to really piss me off! Xx

They will never stop for us... have the patience to wait... although we should wait until the flipping world ends if they have something more important that us.