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I'll get it started.
1. I am God.
2. I will commit adultery and target the married.
3. I will never speak the truth.
4. I am vain.
I have to go to work, please help me finish.
that these descriptions are all of the same guy.
Mine would say, "My mother just HAD to tell me today how good-looking she thinks I am." That one definitely made me throw up in my mouth.
Basically, it all boils down to the very first commandment:
"I am God."
(#2 about targeting the married is especially true as well.)
Mine would always say we'll talk about this later
Will talk when you get home from work
I don't want to have this conversation over text
Then the discussion would never occur, yet somehow he always new what we had said on the topic and how we had agreed to deal with whatever issue it may have been.
Or - always leave big gaping holes out of the story so when you come up with a possible solution, you are totally ineffective.
I will never allow any discussions like what is normal between 2 adults and if i do not get my way at least 99% of the time, will throw the biggest temper tantrum you have ever seen, and guess what, I am NOT even a 2 year old toddler, but a grown man who has never emotionally developed........... hehehhehehe
5. I shall behave inappropriately in speech and action at functions.
6. I shall say I was only joking if anyone is offended.
7. I shall become scathing towards the person who pointed out my indecretion especially if the person happens to be a female (usually referred to by N as " it.")
8. I shall then start thrownig peanuts or bottle tops at said person.
9. I shall start flirting with said person.
10. I shall deny all of the above ever happened.
Haha omg! I had to laugh at this. What an embarrassing idiot
listed is so true and I will add,
all that attracted me to you will be used against you, the postives will become the negatives you use to discard me...
Your children will only matter in as much as they make you feel and look good. Should they express concern or speak honestly you will punish them...you will allow them in your life as long as they adore you without question...I will continue to seek sources until they day I die...because living alone will be unbearable...
5. You will have no interests other than me.
6. You will be available when I want you to be no matter what you are doing. Nothing in your life will be more important than me.
7. If you visit your mother or your children, I will make your life miserable because you were ignoring me.
8. If you get fat or age, I will find a new source and in a cold-blooded manner, get rid of you after 25 years of marriage while telling you want a sweet and caring wife you were to me.
9. I will totally screw with your mind by calling you and staying on the phone for 5 hours and telling you that I will never love anyone like I love you.Then I will go to my new source and tell her the same thing. Both of you will believe me because you are nothing to me but "sources".
10. I will tell you how beautiful and adoring my new source is to me and you will listen and be happy for me.
11. I will convince you that you are so ugly, that you forced me away.
12. I will make you feel guilty, ugly, stupid, and worthless and then, because you bore me and because you do not look like the woman you were 25 years ago, I will dump you.
"12. I will make you feel guilty, ugly, stupid, and worthless and then, because you bore me and because you do not look like the woman you were 25 years ago, I will dump you."
Reminds me of my Narc: Just days after having his baby, he says to me "Why is your stomach so fat? You really need to lose it. How long do you think it will take to go away because I cannot hang out with a fat girl?"
"Reminds me of my Narc: Just days after having his baby, he says to me "Why is your stomach so fat? You really need to lose it. How long do you think it will take to go away because I cannot hang out with a fat girl?"
FUCK HIM! This makes me so angry.
A friend of mine dated an abuser/bi polar guy and when she gained weight he said to her "I cant be expected to have sex with just anything"
They are disgusting misogynistic wastes of space. Makes me so mad how many wonderful, beautiful people have been made to feel like crap because of these disordered creeps.
Dee, Im so sorry. This sad excuse for a human being is not a man. And Im sure HE'S in his prime *big eye roll*. What a frigging idiot. I felt mine would make me feel like crap as I aged. He already did and I was 24 when we dated. Doesnt matter your age, they will find a way to make anyone feel badly about their looks.
Chin up! xo
I'll flirt and smile at girls whenever I want and if you feel threatened by that, then you are just too insecure and need to get over it.
If you do anything at all to make me feel jealous then you are manipulating me and I'm gone.
I have the right to interrupt you and change the subject constantly when you are trying to talk to me and you should laugh and think it's funny like I do when you get frustrated.
When I talk, you'd better not interrupt or change the subject or I will get angry, sulk and give you the silent treatment.
If you've pissed me off, even if you don't know you have, I have the right to pack up my valuables and leave in the middle of the night when you are sleeping - I owe you no explanation or apology.
I shall covet thy neighbor's wife and all the wives on the street if god so willing -
out there just waiting to take your place." ... So don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out!...
And then, calling and crying and begging for me to forgive him because he didn't meat it! FUCKING LOSERS!
Fucking pigs can't even leave a mile radius without securing new supply. They can smell the vulnerable and their closest prey will be the new victim. I've said before, mine never traveled more than two blocks to find a new source. Lazy, sick, predatory, non-discriminating pigs. "If I had a shotgun; I'd blow you straight to hell"...Grateful Dead song I believe...
If you do anything to show that you are better or smarter than me in any way, you are being a bitch and think you are better than me, but when I prove my own superiority, I am just being confident. I can't help it if I'm good, but you should try to appear less good so you don't show me up.
If you are tired, stressed out, or have too much to do, it's not an excuse for making mistakes or breaking down, but I can break down for any silly reason and tear up the house just because I am frustrated.
If I get angry, and hurt someone's feelings or break something, it's your fault, because you made me mad. If you get angry, it's your problem, so keep it to yourself.
If my "feelings"(ego) are hurt, I will ignore you and sulk for days, but if your feelings are hurt you need to get over it, because it makes me uncomfortable.
There were times I was so frustrated I'd run to the bedroom and slam the fucking door as hard as I could. He told me that was unaccptable and scared the children. I stopped. But as soon as those kids weren't around and I'd turn the stereo on at 10 am on a Saturday, who was slamming doors now?
I get scolded for having said something with the wrong "tone" but he can talk perfectly monotone with that fucking evil/nasty smirk in his eye. All that he does is ok. All that he does I deserved. But everything I did was my fault. Zero ownership, zero responsibility, zero soul.
DITTO, DITTO, DITTO a million times over!!! Every single thing you said!
+ If HE'S under "stress" I need to be "sensitive to his needs" & "supportive". If I'M stressed, it's "you don't handle stress well" & "you are TOO SENSITIVE"!
+ If I'm "sick" (a cold/headache/backache/need a tooth filled/etc...) I need (help/understanding/sympathy/don't expect me to do shit for DAYS). But just because YOU (me) are having SURGERY or a BIOPSY, don't expect me to be there for YOU just because YOU are a "baby". (& if I DO go with you, I'll spend all my time ogling & flirting with the nurses & any other women there, even while the Dr. is going over your problem/results!!!
+ many more.
OK - this opened the flood gates in my head - I need a glass of wine now!
I just hope I'm still alive to see KARMA biting him in the ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. I will give you the silent treatment anytime you question by erratic deviant behavior.
6. You shall attract other men and bring them to my bed.
7. You shall buy me gifts and expect nothing in return.
8. You shall listen to me brag about all the other women in my life and sexual conquests,
9. I shall kill any hope you've had of ever being in a loving kind relationship.
10. I will steal your heart, soul, mind and assets.
Your #1 reminds me of all the times he and I were on the phone and I was expressing to him my frustrations and how I felt about his behavior. After a while, I noticed there was complete silence on the other end. I would say "Hello? Are you still there?" His response was always "I don't have an answer for you right now" And that would always leave me steaming.
"I'm not going to have this discussion with you right now" Or:
"I don't have time for this now, I'm busy." Or:
"I'm not going to talk about this now." Meaning:
"Shut up and get off the phone, I'm busy focusing all my time and energy on my OW."
Mine would say "You ask good questions, you Rat." but never answer.
I will lie, abuse and manipulate
I will cheat and steal
I will convince you that everything is your fault
I will perform the best "crazy making" behavior so you will believe you are insane.
- I can say that my mother cuddles me and I fall asleep on her lap without you thinking it's weird.
- After a while I can say that she's crazy and I hate her without you wondering again what's going on
-I expect you to listen to me seriously when I say that my personality is so intense that other women can't handle me
-and that I affect them so much, that they change who they are and I get bored
but wait, he just admitted to be an arse, why didn't I run the other way when I listened to this?
Oh my goodness! Sounds like my ex-N exactly. He and his mom had a weird relationship. I once overheard a conversation he was having with someone on the phone and it sounded like he was having an intimate conversation with another woman. Come to find out, it was his mother.
He was good for putting his mother on punishment at times when she acted bad or said the wrong thing to him. In his world, punishment = NC
Plus, he would always talk about how he was too much for women in his past to handle. I guess I see why.
How sick can they be? Once he had a fight with his mom and disappeared for hours without answering my calls or texts. When I got angry, he claimed I had no right to be because what he went through was far more important than me and gave me the ST. Lunatic!
I remember also that one morning after having spent the night together, his mom drove by my house to pick him up because she had a date with him! He put on his clothes quickly and left, no breakfast, no nothing. So sick....I'm so glad I'm out, I was starting to believe these things might be normal and I was too narrow-minded...
oh and a good one
-It's totally ok that my mum says everyone that she and I look like a couple together, because she is very hot and looks so much younger that she actually is
Never was i allowed to speak to or meet mommy. He kept us separate like fish and cheese. Not sure why but she was a raving lunatic, gossiping, opinionated control freak herself from what I can tell. We have totally different family backgrounds. All I can say to that is they are both fucked up but I have less people to deal with. His mother was married 3-4 times herself. And the way he tells it - her story is nothing to be proud of. Like Mommy like Son?
Mine has made sure I no longer speak to anyone in his family..I think he likes the control.. He can lie to me.. and them.. With no communication there is no way to get caught in the lies. Since he has done this even more of his rotten side is coming out. He doesn't even try to hide it.
Can anyone say "INCESTUOUS"???? (emotionally, at least......& ???????????)
more often than I care to remember... I am so glad to be out of the dysfunction that is the two of them. Now when they hate each other (as 2 narcs usually do) they won't have me to kick around as a scapegoat anymore. Seems like the only time they get along is when they are conspiring against a common enemy (namely whatever woman is in his life at the time). He loves playing the victim for mommy!
I actually did something like this when I was writing in my journal. 10 pages later I stopped only because I was interrupted! I just wrote everything he did/how he made me feel from his poiint of view. This really helped me, but also made me really angry. I did it this way:
- I am smarter than you
- You need to always be in the mood for sex and you deserve to feel guilty when you're not in the mood
- Im only with you for your looks
- I like showing you off and using you as an accessory
- I will make your life hell if you marry and try to divorce me
- I expect you to take shit from my family with a smile
- I wish you dressed differently
- I wish you had blue eyes
- I hate it when you come over here in your pyjamas and dont try to look hot for me
- I wish you would blindly trust me so that I didnt have to deal with your questions
- You're not enough for me in bed unles we're dirty talking/Im fantasizing about something else/you're dressed up/Im degrading you
- I dont give a shit about what you want in bed, your feelings are an inconvenience to me trying to get off
- Im cheating on you
- I expect you to listen to me talk about myself all the time and always be interested
- All I care about is money, power, success and my career
- You will patiently and lovingly stand in the shadows while I am in the spotlight
I could go on for dayyssss!
Why do narcs hate pjs so much? Im hearing that over and over again! :-)
Gosh, and all this time I thought I was the only one who got abused by the Narc's family. They were absolutely horrible to me, despite the fact that I was completely nice and accommodating to them. Plus, they blamed me for everything. I thinks they were all Narcs.
"I thinks they were all Narcs"
Yep, they probably are. Your ex learned abusive behaviour from them obviously. Sorry you went through that. Its a realy shitty feeling to look back and realize that you were not only abused by an ex but by his entire family. Its bullshit! Normal, healthy families will appreciate girls like us :) Narcs dont appreciate anybody.
Omg Loren, do I have stories for you! You are not alone.
My ex's mom started various dramas with me, talked behind my back, called me controlling, anorexic, who knows what else.
I once went to the hospital with stomach pains (gallstone) and both his parents showed up demanding to know what was up under the guise of offering to wait 3 HOURS to drive us home. Which was 4 blocks away. When I politely told them not to wait for me and she didnt get an answer as to what was going on she FLIPPED HER SHIT. It turned into a 3 week long war where she backstabbed me to him, tried to get us to tell her what happened, tried to have a "family meeting" about it. When I finaly reluctantly gave in (but did NOT tell her what had happened, on principle) she brought this sappy bullshit letter which painted her as the concerned, kind parent and me as the heartless bitch who wasnt letting them in. And CRIED.
There are MANY more stories like this. He learned from the best. His mother is the DEVIL. Most jealous, conniving, twisted, fake, pathetic, evil, sabotaging, meddling, phony monster I've ever met in my life.
his mother........it was 2 of his 4 sisters.....one was "merely annoying"....the other one makes me sick ("wifey one").
WHY can't these f'g people MIND THEIR OWN F'G BUSINESS!!! It pissed me off that I'd have to watch every single thing I told him because THEY would be told. No PRIVACY whatsoever!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"No PRIVACY whatsoever!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You're right. They have none at all. Their families are fucked up. Thats probably why they dont respect ANYONE'S boundaries. Theirs were never respected
Yep. No privacy. He told his mommy everything! Everytime we had a fight she knew, then she would call his sister and tell her. Fuck them all. His family is so heartless that when we had a power outage here from a snowstorn we lost power for almost a week.. His family had generator.. Fireplace..my mom who is diabetic and has breast cancer stayed with us.. His mother told him we should go stay at a shelter. Hmm .. Doesn't take rocket scientist to see where HE gets it from.
1. I shall ask to see my kid only when it is time to play daddy dearest in front of all of my friends, then I shall discard him and not have anything to do with him until he is needed again.
2. I shall have my mother contact you to tell you off, cuss you out and tell you to just give me what I want, when I want it whenever things don't go my way.
3. I shall slander your name amongst all of our friends to make them hate you and think negatively about you, as though you are the one with all of the problems.
4. I shall pop in and out of your life and our child's life whenever it pleases me and you are commanded to wait there with open arms for my arrival, whenever that may be.
5. You are to turn a blind eye to any and all evidence of other women being in my home and shall say nothing about the pictures of other women that are in my house.
6. You shall answer all of my calls and never allow me to go to voicemail, be available when I feel like dealing with you and owe me any and everything I could possibly desire even though I tell you on a regular basis that you mean nothing to me, I, personally, owe you nothing and "any act of kindness towards you should be viewed as a gift."
Wish there was a like button on here like fb - those are brilliant - word for word I am sure we are all talking about the same N!!
Yes we are--Different face...different body... but same Narc
1. I will lie compulsively
2. My behaviour will always be erratic and unpredictable
3. I will have an excuse for every single bad behaviour I exhibit
4. We will only be concerned about my issues/feelings
5. I will turn my disease/issues into your disease/issues
6. I will make you question your sanity
7. I will continually cut you off and then reel you in
8. I will never ever take responsibility for any hurt or pain I cause
9. I will do nothing to contribute to a loving, nurturing partnership
10. I will promise you eternity and walk away without a care and move on like you never mattered to me once you start to uncover the real me
I could go on and on and on but I'll others have some fun too....
This is my husband!!!
They really ARE all the SAME, aren't they? I agree with every single one of these!
Sounds like my relationship...
Yours, mine and probably a ton of others......I am a newbie....4 days of NC.....4 days of realization
1. you shall have no other God than me!
2. you shall worship all image of me and no other, for I am a jealous God so thou shall have no friends, family, children, animals, job or hobby that take your attention away from worshiping at my altar!
3. thou shall not draw attention to, discuss, have issue with or in any way shape or form attempt to hold me responsible for flaws of I, the almighty.
4. Remember the sabbath. you shall labor all do all the relational work and require nothing of me. On the seventh day you may rest and worship at my altar unless I deem other plans for you. And my plans will be many.
5. Honor MY mother, but never your own. For she gave birth to I, the great almighty.
6. Thou shall not kill, however I may kill any spirit or independence in you without complaint.
7. You shall not commit adultary, but shall turn a blind eye to all my indiscretions, which will be many.
8. thou shall not steal unless it may benefit I, the almighty. however I reserve all rights to you, your dignity and all your property whether owned or earned soley by you prior to having known I, the great almighty.
9. Thou shall not lie, however you must pretend to believe all lies told by me as the gospel. You must never question or prove I have told any untruth.
10. Thou shall covet nothing of mine, and must share all your worldly treasures with me. I shall be entitled to covet anything and everything since I am the only sole entitled being in the world I have created... (being the almighty and all)
Any deviation from these commandments shall incur swift and painful punishment and may range from physical, verbal and emotional torture to psychological war fare and mind f*ing to keep you off balance and crazy!
Total jerkwads the lot of them!
If you missed it before mine used to always say:
"Heavy is the head that wears the crown"
Poor sick bastard, so burdened with his own greatness.
I'm seriously going to puke.
Oh my god!! That made me laugh! What a delusional prick! You re so well rid!!! X
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