Well, I am working toward getting myself and my son away from nh. Have just met with my psychologist who is documenting for me and will go to court if necessary. He has enforced my exact recent discoveries about my marriage and the rearing of my child. He point-blank told me that I need to get out. I told him that is what I know. I HAVE to get us out. I have not moved to the next step of obtaining legal counsel, but I know I will be. Now, this afternoon, I'm feeling scared, having anxiety. Actually thinking that it would be easier to just "make everything alright" again by swallowing the abuse. I know...fantasyland! Textbook victim crap!! Bad Bad Bad mothering!! But, I do have to work through these feelings. Right now, I just put one foot in front of the other moving toward the goal. Thanks to all for listening! It does feel good to write!