ErinMarie79's Story

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#1 May 2 - 2PM
ErinMarie79
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ErinMarie79's Story

May be a long one !!

3 years ago he came into my life - As a write this I remember some of the first things he said to me to make me fall into him. I came out of a 8 year marriage to which I had a wonderful daughter, my ex husband and I to this day get a long great. I than was in a 3 yr relationship that was toxic for diff reasons, but removed myself - at this point be for the Nar came I realized I needed to protect my daughter whom ws 4 at the time and I wasnt going to be that mom that brought men in and out of her life. There was a night the Narc wanted to come over to my house, he was out with his friends, I sd no that I had my daughter, this is where it began, I remember him saying I want to be apart of you and all of you I want to meet your daughter, and if thats not what you want than tell me, I stood my ground, I sd shes not going to wake up and see a guy in my bed. He made me feel guilty at this early stage. That weekend he met my daughter, and it began. 6 months into the relationship he had already cheated, I was devestaed, when I put the pieces together one night and realized he wasnt where he sd hed be I confronted him. All I got was it is what it is, leave if you want to leave, this was all via txt, I got nothing from him no closure. A month later I got the I miss you can we talk, I met him, and right back into it we went. Antoher 6 months down the rd, he did it again.
To make this story a lot shorter than what I cld make it, this cycle went on for months...years...each time wed split it was 2 to 3 weeks and he was back - I may have broke NC a few times but it ws him at the door. My Nar didnt have a great upbringing, his words not mine, mom was the neighborhood hussie, grew up with no father, 5 kids differant dads, child services tried taking them away. He was the star football player but states he had no support at home. Was in a terrible car accident which killed his brother whom was his best friend, 3 months later his wife left him. Got a "nut" job pregnant again his words, someone he just "partied" with. Son was born with CP and has Autisim. My Nar wld constantly tell me I dont understand I would never understand what hes been through, I wld never claim to but would cry along side of him knowing he was broken and there was nothing I cld do. Once we made it past a year or so the constant cheating and lies, made me doubt everything, I'd go through his phone - find messages and pictures to other "supplies". The feeling of never feeling not enough, yet knowing what I brought to the table is a horrible one. Of course when letting him know how I felt it was always resorted back to him, his past his upbringing, and there I was saying sorry for going through his phone, and forgetting about seeing the messages.
The final straw.......so I thought......for the most part my daughter and I lived with him and his son whom he only has every other weekend. Granted I had my own home -but was always at his. We were out one night and we were hit on his motorcycle- myself was tossed backwards, hurt my back. About a week after he took me to dinner to get out of the house, had a few cocktails to say the least, sat by our fire pit and talked, drank some more, but all in all had a great night, he knew i was hurting with my back suggested for me to go to bed, I did, however taking Motrin not the pain meds due the amount of drinks I had, LOL I wanted to wake up. However knowing they knock me out he thought he was one up on me. I woke up at 230 in the morning to hear the music still on outside, I thought OMG he past out, much to my surprise he was just fine, so much so , I dont think the girl could get off his lap fast enough. Destroied again. It took me an hr to pack myself and my daughters things and I was gone again. 3 weeks later, the txt messages started, Im sorry, biggest mistake of my life, please talk to me, after the 5th time he called and 7 text msg I caved. He was at my house an hr later, crying, telling me Iam the one, telling me he wanted his family back, the house is empty without my and my daughter. He wld prove to me by showing me that he will change. Like a worm on the pole I was the fish that bit again. Moved in with him completly - sold everything I had, didnt need my things he said. Now here I am 7 months later, new furniture, new bedroom sets, new place to live and learning so much about what is truly wrong with him. He did it again. He contacted me 4 weeks ago - pulled me in - this time i kept my distance, but still fell back into his bullshit. How many times does one have to be slapt in the face for her wake up call. There were a total of 4 times that I actually caught him cheating, and all 4 times I forgave and thought to myslef how can I fix us. Its been a full week of NC - its still hard - but this site has been huge for me to push through. For years people told me he was Narcissist, I was uneducated on what it was. Now I feel like a fool that I let him destroy myself the way he has, not to mention my daughter whom loved him so much. Now I am rebuilding myself and her. I read everyday - and I pray he stays away, I need to maintain NC, help me push through this. I feel I get it now, but hes a master at what he does each time gets meanier makes me feel its me resorts to the silent treatment. I sit and write letters asking why do you do this, why cant you be the person you tell me you want to be, why do you hurt me, never get the reason just the silent treatment, and now where is he, with one of the "supplies" he has cheated on me with 2 other times, when does it end? Thank you all for your stories.

May 3 - 1PM
spinning
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Erin, sweetheart, I am so

spinning

May 3 - 11AM
Sparrow
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You are not a fool. I wish

May 4 - 12PM (Reply to #2)
ErinMarie79
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Hard Day